CHINA

2002-12-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

Beijing seems really quiet now that everyone is leaving...or has left already. Everything seems pretty cold today, and i dont really mean the weather but people in general too. Sometimes I really do feel small in this place of soo many people. People dont have time to smile really....or if they do have time, they are not in the mood. And i feel that i get a different experience when i go out depending on the people that i go with. If i go with Chinese people, I blend in and even if i speak english or chinglish, other people think that i am just speaking a dialect that they dont understand. If i go out with people of different ethnic backgrounds and it is totally obvious that they are not Chinese, people ask me...."where are THEY from?" like i am their Chinese interpreter or something...which i also have to explain. And then if i go out with my ABC "American Born Chinese" friends....they are all speaking in chinese now and there is me, who can only get in a few words still because there is still that intimidating feeling in the back of my mind. But I have more confidence to speak now, and have even gotten mad in chinese a few times but its kinda hard when you cant really express yourself they way that you want to. And now i am leaving and its getting closer and closer......

2002-12-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

I came here knowing nothing when i thought i knew something.
Things i thought that i would never do,
I did.
And yesterday we baked in the sun,
but today the snow is falling
and now im leaving
a place that has literally grown on me
wei or hello is "yi hui shir"
Where i feel that it doesnt even matter where you're from
but i do miss where i used to be...
The first snowfall today.

2002-12-14T00:14:00.000-08:00

Well, i have a week before i go back to the US. I started organizing today...but yeah its kinda a weird feeling, pick up and go. I hope that my life is not always this way. Its going to be a reverse culture shock for me..from hearing chinese everday back to english all the time...i guess it will be good that i am staying with my dad for a bit cuz ill always hear chinese TV going on and stuff when i am there. But yeah, not packed fully yet, just cleaned my room. Not much is going on here now , everyone pretty much left and stuff.

Yes, there are definately people that i am going to miss....people who have been a great help to me, people who I didnt expect I would be friends with. But i dont know, i feel like i am coming back here....its a second home and i am just not ready to let it go yet. and i dont know when i ever will. But i guess thats just me, i get attached to a certain area and then well, it becomes home. AI YA....One week.... the countdown begins....

2002-12-10T08:48:00.000-08:00

Studying in China, i have to tell you has been one of the most difficult things academically. Remember when i used to just sit there for hours writing chinese characters? Well, we do that here too, but I used to like it. now i am like ugh....but i can read a lot surprisingly. But yeah i am feeling it...that vibe, soon to be leavin vibe. I dont think that I've felt this before...its like a really sad feeling but also anxious feeling to get back home. But all the habits and things that we are used to at home sometimes i think that i can do without.

Last year i spent so much time detaching myself...i didnt date till 2002 as promised, and all i did was just study and practice for that recital, and now i find myself in a totally different place for half a year and i am leaving. I think all of it is too much for me like my head literally feels like its spinning right now. I have a test tomorrow, actually two, one in which i wont even bother studying for because i bombed the midterm and noticed that even though i studied, we found out that we just cant prepare well for chinese tests. And so i am coming back to it all in a few weeks. i really cant explain the feeling. Its a where am I ? what am i going to do with my life kinda feeling that is unexplainable. And at the same time, what you do with your life doesnt really matter at all as long as you are happy doing it i guess. What I've learned most here is that things arent always what they seem. You go into a place and make assumptions about people and lifestyles, etc...but people are just people. Our society is harsh....and I'm going back to it. And its like, i even felt guilty going to TGI FRidays the other night spending $20 US dollars on dinner. Like it just didnt feel the same, i guess it almost felt luxurious.....like i dont have to eat this way, but yet we do it all the time at home.

Whats most important in life?

2002-12-08T01:57:00.000-08:00

More confused than ever I would say...what does that mean? well, going home in a few weeks and i am totally not ready for it. It kinda feels like when i was going to leave for China, i didnt know exactly what to expect. I know that i am not going to waltz back home and expect it to be the same. Im sure that I'll have a totally different feeling. But i havent been gone that long, have I? i guess I've grown attached to this place, and its little cheap places to eat. My room is the best, small fridge, my own bathroom, full size bed and internet. I will definately miss afternoon naps ( this is illegal in the U.S. you know?) And ill miss people and doing things here. Miss the simplicity of it all and now thinking of going back to complication just gets to me.

Finals going home, everything.

2002-12-02T05:46:00.000-08:00

Well, i just got back from eating hotpot with some of my friends from my chinese class. One is Japanese and one is Korean...so of course we have to speak Chinese the whole time. It was the first time I really actually took charge in ordering. Usually i go with other people and they take the lead. i dont know, for some reason the waitress couldnt understand the way that my friends were speaking and understood me. I dont know, i guess the waitress kinda turned to me because i looked the most chinese or something. haha but she knew that we were foreign. And its funny...though these kids get better grades than me in my class, i could communicate just a bit better. So that makes me feel like ive learned something...yay. My korean friend was getting frustrated at the waitress because she couldnt understand her. What I noticed about the Koreans here in China is that they dont really treat the "fuwuyuan" ( servers/waiters)like respected people. Sometimes they are kinda rude to them and yell out what they want. But what i notice about Chinese people is that their life is just kinda ordinary most times and sometimes all they need is a smile. You just have to smile and say something and they totally help you out.

Can't believe that i am going home soon. Its like I've made a new home though andi dont know how I'd feel about going back. There is a lot of things I miss about the U.S, and I admit there have been times where I've been really home sick. But I think about going home now and i dont know. I've just had a great couple of days here and I guess it has reminded me how much I really do like this place. I've made lifelong friends here I think...who all are staying a year. But i dont want to regret leaving...i think that its a good decision...i think. But its going to be nice to come home...at least it wont be that hard to practice chinese at home ( hehe its UCI c'mon!)

But yeah this week is just kinda busy because it is basically cramming time. Next week is finals already! I cant believe how my time here has gone so fast. I'll definately come back feeling totally different but i dont know in what ways. My english is totally bad...sheesh. I'll have to get used to writing papers again for Sociology classes and get back into the habit of playing my horn. Last quarter of college and then what? WO BU ZHI DAO! hai meiyou jueding! ( I don't know and i havent decided yet) But yeah so much to study and so much to do to prepare to go home. btw...what did you guys want from China? hehe.

Yeah speaking of shopping. This weekend I totally had girls night out ! I started off the day with my really good friend Connie Wu (Berkeley girl) and we got our hair done. Then we met up with one of my other good friends named Shu and went shopping at Wangfujin DaJie( a big commercial district in Beijing)...too bad I spent all my money on my hair...i really only looked around. I ended up buying a cheap shirt that i could afford, later. My friends ended up buying a Jacket for really cheap 99 RMB, and bought the same exact one! I would have bought one too if i had the money and had use for it. But i figure I'm leaving and we dont use jackets much in Cali...so nope, didnt buy it. But i saw some really cute jackets that I'd love to get for my brother or something...good thing im getting paid this week hehe.

Well, gotta study now...more later

2002-11-27T01:25:00.000-08:00

I love those days where chinese actually really makes sense to me! I just got back from my newspaper reading class. Its really interesting because what the class focuses on is big issues in China...from like economic development to like societal problems. Its kinda related to Sociology a lot so i really like the vocabulary and the way that it gets you to think about certain concepts and opinions. Though it is hard to express myself most times, my teacher really makes us try to explain things in a really simple way so that we can understand each other.

I cant believe my time in China has gone by this fast. I only have a few more weeks before i return to the US. I totally have mixed feelings about it, but I think that i am glad that i am going back. But I think that its not going to be the last time I'll study Chinese or come to China.For some reason I've come to develop some kind of tie to China in a way. There is a lot of history here, and now i guess i can see how those things affected the way that my chinese side of the family moved around. I've learned things that I want to actually write down someday. I'm totally looking forward to coming back and listening to my grandma's stories and totally writing them down (translated of course). And its like i have another whole different side too in the Philippines. I guess i am really interested in all of it...and well, i bet there are a ton of stories. I cant wait to hear them.

But like i said I have mixed feelings about going back. Living in a different country and actually surviving it kinda has opened up my mind a bit to different things. I feel like I can't just be in one kind of environment anymore. Its like a feeling of....there is more to the world than just what is in front of you. And i guess you can say it is all relative. People here would be totally happy with a new bike...because bikes get you around. I would be totally happy with a new bike...haha. The ideal bf/gf image is seeing you and your gf/bf on a bike together. Or if you are riding your own seperate bikes you are holding hands while you bike. Its really cute sometimes to see haha. And the best place to take your date would probably be McDonalds. But i guess, i dont know. Like I said before, we have so much...yet complain. I have everything I possibly want material wise...but sometimes that does not mean a thing. When you dont have it, it really doesnt matter! I dont know , i feel like the world is just a little closer together now, for me that is.

So Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I'm going with EAP to a fancyshmancy dinner...i may have to get a little dressed up. But I am still waiting for that Christmas dinner right when i get back home. And whoever wants to go out for Mexican...i dont mind eating it everyday the first week i get back. We dont know what Tacos are in China. and speaking of food, i should go find some. Today has been really busy and cold and I've survived most of my day with powerful peanut butter sandwiches. Craving for my favorite "dinky" "hole in the wall" place....the service isnt that great, the tables arent that clean...but the food is good. Be home soon all....

2002-11-21T23:34:00.000-08:00

Its funny how language works...sometimes I cant even really express myself the way that I want to. I know that everyone has been noticing that my english has been slipping. Haha...hopefully i can adjust myself back into american culture and language as soon as I get back. Spent like at least 4 or 5 hours just writing chinese and speaking with my tutor yesterday about my topic...I cant believe that i am writing about Environmental problems in Chinese now! Sometimes i sit here and i think that I am a total loser and I havent improved at all but I guess if i really think about it, i was learning "Yi -Er-San" last year....and now they expect me to clearly state my opinions about societal, political and environmental problems.

The education system of course here is totally different...and I've said this before. Most Asian countries rely on memorization. They memorize patterns, characters, numbers...etc. So our teacher asked us all a question today about what we thought about society and all its shortcomings and to give examples, blah blah, basically asking us what were our thoughts about it. What I noticed today was that the Koreans couldnt answer, and all the (Xifangren) Westerners had no problem with it. So in class, with "english" thoughts, i think...thought about the different ways that people think. The Koreans and Japanese memorize while for some reason the western people try to analyze and understand. I dont know where I fall sometimes....but like Gerry always says...I am a halfie...so i am just confused. But I've been getting 0's on my dictations in class, not because i dont know the vocabulary, but because i cant memorize the book. The teacher reads sentences straight from our book, and no matter how hard I study...cant memorize the damn book. Its impossible! Just different methods of teaching and I cant handle it ,..thats fo shody.

Brain Dizzy,sleeep

2002-11-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

My original thought when coming to China was to figure out exactly what I kinda wanted to get into. Now my mind is kinda just mixed up between worlds, and now i see things that i dont think that i would have staying at home. In some ways you can say that i am more confused than ever but at the same time I dont know.

Along with Chinese characters I've been learning a bit about Chinese Law. I've learned that the law is kinda really not there in a way. Its kinda in its developing stages, which is a kind of scary thing because sometimes Chinese people do not know exactly what they are doing wrong. And if they are doing something wrong it is probably something kind of harmless, like someone trying to make an extra buck(kuai). You think about a country that was under Imperialist rule for years and years, then went into crazy leadership and now trying to have some sort of legal system....its like in its baby stages. And i guess what they always say about China now is "fazhan fazhan" ( developing) But yeah, the interesting thing and difference between laws in the US and laws here in China is that....well, in most instances Chinese people still think of the law as punishment. When we think of law, we think of protection and rights. I heard about a case today in class about an old guy who got sentenced to 2 years in prison for selling turtles that were supposedly protected by the law. He did have a formal trial, but the trial was only for formalities. It was just weird because I noticed that when the teacher was telling us about the outcome of the trial...it was like the judges, the lawyers really didnt try to analyze different possibilities of what could have happened in this "turtle" incident.

Sometimes I think that law, or anything , like opinions or beliefs or whatever in China is based on the education system here. In the US we learn to analyze different situations, ask questions, take things apart...even maybe question authority. China, along with so many asian countries mostly memorize things...do little questioning and analysis. So if people are not used to questioning anything, how can they question the law? How can they question the system or different situations? its not that anyone is stupid...its just different ways of thinking. I mean, i feel stupid in my classes right now. Compared to all the Japanese and Korean students, all the western foreign students are doing horribly. But I notice that it is just the ways of thinking...people are used to teaching the way that they were taught.

Anyway, gotta wake up early tomorrow.

2002-11-18T02:35:00.000-08:00

Well, today was normal but kinda interesting. I decided to sleep in today and miss my first class at 8 am. i didnt miss the 10 am class...but i ended up seeing my 8 am teacher after class....so i had to apologize and told her the truth. " Sorry i didnt attend class teacher but I woke up really late..." She said no problem and we ended up talking and eating with a few other classmates, one Korean and one Japanese at the student cafeteria. We found out that we had something in common.. our families were both from the same province Nanjing...which was pretty cool.

My great aunt " Go nai nai" called me the other day out of all people. i havent seen her since my grandfather passed away 5 years ago...and she lives in Canada. I guess she was visiting China and decided to give me a call. I saw her yesterday and she told me a bit about family history and how people parted basically because of the cultural revolution. But yeah, i feel like sometimes though im far away from home, i kinda feel closer to part of my family somehow. Or at least I've gotten to know the history behind different things

So yeah, i am about a month away . Its kind of a weird feeling....switching environments, going back home. I dont know how i would feel after all the things that I've gotten used to here. I really have mixed feelings and dont know what to expect. But yeah, my brother says that my dad is actually trying to look for something for me to drive when i get back home. Though i think that you will see me riding a bike around Tustin when i get back. haha. Well, tired....those kinder kids wear me out...

2002-11-16T06:51:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to post the few digital pictures that i have up on angelfire because geocities doesnt work here. I found this really interesting person of a Chinese minority pulling a yak when i went to sichuan in the summer. I think that was the best part of my time here in China...i dont think that i will get to travel as much in China as i did in the summer. I went to, Chengde ( The emperor's old summer resort), camped out on the great wall one night, slept in a village one night....went to Inner mongolia and rode horses and camels, went to Sichuan and saw monkeys, sat on a Yak and hiked like almost 10 miles. Then i went to Dalian, something that looks like Irvine almost...quiet and next to the beach. And then last month went to see the Terricotta Soldiers in Xi'an. Good memories and good pictures to share when i get back home.

Studying now...but check out this picture...

2002-11-15T08:13:00.000-08:00

It is so nice to have everything you could possibly want in one little place. I would have to say my life is perfectly content now...i have internet in my room. I will no longer be lonely and homesick...for the last month i am here anyway. It feels just like home because i get to talk to all of you on AIM...hehe...and having internet always is what i miss...YAY i have it now wooh hooh. And only for 100 kuai a month, which is what i get paid hourly at my kinder job. haha. I can afford things in China, its kinda cool sometimes. I dont have to run to the ATM or anything.

China is seriously changing, and its kinda interesting to be in between everything that is happening. And i guess it is even more interesting because i am right here in China's capital. But though things are wild and lively in the day, right now, it is so quiet. And right now, i just feel really content with things...but i am really excited to go home. It will give me a chance to think again. I mean, coming to China has given me a chance to think a lot about things, but at the same time, while it has opened me up to so many different possibilites, i kinda feel torn between places . We'll see how we feel like when i return home.

But i think that what it really has taught me is that, a person doesnt need much for survival. Like, you dont need all the things that you think you need. Growing up I think that i got everything material wise. My parents never made me really worry about money or different things like that. I had everything and have everything. Its like, sometimes at home we dont know how many things we have as a US citizen...though we complain about our society sometimes and our busy crazy stressful lives. And well, our education was kinda just given to us, and sure American students work hard to get to school, college, whatever. But i dont know, i really admire the chinese students. Most of the Chinese students come from small villages, who have parents with little or no education basically because of all the crazy things that happened with the Cultural Revolution. And well, instead of the life of picking fruit or even selling it on the streets, they pushed their kids to study...or actually, the kids just studied just to get out of that life. And so yeah, most students come from this kind of background. They live about 5-8 ppl to a room in their dorm...and it is small, dirty and crowded. And here i am with my internet in my own room in what they call an " APARTOTEL" (part apartment , part hotel) I get maid service everyday, i get my sheets cleaned. I get everything. and sometimes i wonder, why i am in here, and they are out there.

2002-11-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

You will be getting more frequent updates on the blog this last month that i am here because i finally stopped being lazy and ordered internet acess in my room. In chinese currency i spent a lot of money today, about 400 kuai...but in actuality it was about $50 ...for an ethernet card along with a month's worth of unlimited internet in my room....i didnt think that it was that bad. Anything beats this internet cafe. Since the weather is cold now the internet cafe has turned on the heater...and along with the heater are all the people who smoke. UGh...bad combination.

Though midterms werent so great, i find that classes are more and more interesting. Today my class had discussions about what we think about China's family planning..."one child per household policy" the cool thing was that we did it in chinese. And sometimes i am amazed that we actually talk about this stuff. I cant really express myself that much because my vocabulary is still really limited...but the fact that i understand stuff is the best part. hehe. But yeah, China is undergoing a lot of changes...and it is really cool to be in the middle of all its development. This morning i tried to watch the news and ended up turning to something that i thought was really funny. It was a show that was trying to teach chinese people, "MODERN ENGLISH"...and basically "modern english" in China is American English. This includes slang and all the little things that we dont even know we say. There was an Asian American girl trying to teach a little Chinese girl....." Like.......I am SO happy for you..." and "Today we are going to emphasize "SO"....I am SO happy for you..." And you go around campus and you hear english all the time. People are practicing out loud and stuff. But what i thought was really hilarious this morning was....ok...it was this commerical and this white guy comes along and acts lost and stupid and says, " CHINA IS SO BIG..WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?" and these old poor chinese guys with horses say in chinese..."ill help you , ride my horse..." and of course the guy doesnt understand....and then there was one guy...old grandpa type says...(in english)" HEY WASSUP BUDDY COME RIDE THIS HORSE..." and the white guy goes, " OK THANKS!" and the advertisement was basically , "watch our english show" kinda thing. haha. sometimes things are really funny around here. hehe.

tomorrow ill have internet! yay........

2002-11-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

I miss sunny california weather. In Beijing now its gloomy...when you go outside you have to wear all these layers of clothing, and not to mention gloves. I am really glad that I will be missing winter here. I think that my homesickness really is due to the weather. Being in California all my life has not prepared me for winter weather. I think that i will be leaving Beijing when it gets super cold.......yay!

As for money matters. Since I've had this Kinder job I havent touched any money in my bank...which is a good thing. I have over one thousand US dollars left and i think that it will go untouched till i get home. I think that with the job I have saved enough money to pay for about 3 months rent at the apartment in Tustin if my roomates will have me back? ??? When i go back home to Cali though, I have no mode of transportation...the ol' Kia is gone. I dont know how i feel about that now. I kinda miss that thing.

But as of the moment i have kinda a love/hate relationship with Beijing. I hate wearing all these clothes, it kinda just makes you feel heavy in a sense cuz with everything on you probably weigh like 5 more pounds at least. Anyway, i am glad that the miderms are over...though that i think i failed them. with the exception of one which i got an 85% on...which my teacher said that it was " Bu Tai Hao" which means, not really that good. And i totally thought it was! Anyway, sometimes i have to remember i am not a Chinese major...i miss music and soc actually. Actually miss music more.

Well, we'll see what it will be like when i get back to the U.S. about a month now......

2002-11-08T21:29:00.000-08:00

So I've never felt homesickness before but you get it the most when you are sick. Sick and tired of the food and the crowdedness and people not understanding you half the time. So this week was midterms, with a fever.....chinese just looked like a whole bunch of weird squiggly lines on a page. Trying to get internet in my room this week, so i can write longer. I cant stand this internet cafe full of smoke and heat.....ugh.....barf.

2002-11-03T03:46:00.000-08:00

Simple english for limited time
hard for expression
trying to order a hamburger is difficult
Miss home, my roomates miss you guys
Red Robin glad you got the job
horn playing, can I get an "A"?
Kindergarten Teaching
Miterms in Chinese
Mom's here tomorrow.
Gotta go
More later.

2002-10-28T02:23:00.000-08:00

What a day. Kindergarten, tough work. I still havent managed to get the class under control the way that I want them to. The teachers are sometimes tired by the end of the day and pretty much want me to take over. They are definately learning, but yeah. I am really pooped. School and everything else with it just drains my energy. The summer was totally relaxed and now, man, i wish i had a free minute to sit down or something. It kind of reminds me of home in a way, without the crazy rehersals....something i really miss btw.

I finally got my plane ticket. I am going home on December 21...right before Christmas! So I'll be sure to give everyone a ring when i come home. Wow, i cant believe that I've been away for this long, but yes, somedays I do miss home even though I've found a life here also. One thing is for sure, I am definately coming back here. China is in desperate need of english teachers, and though I've complained today...I enjoy it for the most part. It is something that has been helping me interact with people, using chinese and english as well. And i dont know, my chinese is not even half of what i want it to be. China's economy is really growing and changing. Sometimes it really freaks me out how much some places really feel like home in the U.S.

My mom is in Shanghai now, and coming back to Beijing next week. She is coming in right in the middle of my miderms which...ugh just stinks. I've never had so much homework in my life. Am I having a good time? Yes...but Chinese is HARD! But yeah, i couldnt really concentrate in class today because I was thinking a lot about something that Gerry ( for those of you who dont know Gerry he is one of my very good friends from the U.S.)told me last night. We talked about the importance of different relationships that you have with people especially when you are in a different country. He said, " be careful not to burn bridges, kat" and i guess it stuck out in my mind today. Life gets really busy sometimes and i forget the people who really tried hard to get a hold of me in the summer when i was all over China, and different things. I havent called some people back like i said i would have. So yeah, i was distracted because i felt bad. I admit i am not always the nicest person. So yeah, "never burn bridges" is my quote of the day.

I am going to call some people tonight. And say "duibuqi hen chang shijian mei gei da dianhua." Sorry I havent called you for awhile.

2002-10-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

I just finished teaching some of my kinder classes this morning. I figured out a way to teach them so they could all improve, instead of just having 25-30 kids repeating after me over and over. I found out that the classrooms all have seperate age groups so basically it worked out great. The older kids, mid kids and the really small babies. I found that in one of my classes the babies had more of an attention span. Its really interesting to see how kids learn...but anyway, it went well and the teacher and I had a conversation afterwards about ideas and things that we could do to organize things more. YAY! So i feel pretty good about the job, and i thank artsbridge and all the teachers for all the lesson planning training. It has helped a great deal!

My mom was here in Beijing and now she flew off to Xi'an where i was last weekend. Her hotel is so far from my school that i had to take all of Beijing's public transportation to get there. I took a bus to the subway station, and from the subway station i took a taxi to finally get to her hotel. But yeh, she brought me so many kinder supplies, including CAT in the HAT....which never fails. we'll see how it works with my older kids. My mom is coming back to Beijing next week, and ill bring her around to the local places here, including eating cheap local food and the bargaining fun we have around here buying things.

anyway, sorry this entry is so short and simple, and you can tell that my english sometimes is getting worse and worse. Ai ya!
but i am hungry and tired...kinder kids need lotsa love and energy....im poooooped

2002-10-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

So i just got back to Beijing this morning and had to go to class. The weather has turned really cold really fast here...looks like i will have to be going shopping soon. Yep, EAP went to Xi'an this weekend which was short but fun. Most of the time was spent on the train, and i think i am still a bit motion sick from it...ugh. But the trip was pretty interesting especially one night when we had this imperial dumpling dinner and show. Not only was the show great (especially all the cool chinese traditional instruments) but sitting in the back was Axel Rose i know that my URS people would flip out ! I didnt get a picture but i can probably get a copy from someone. Yes, not only did i have an imperial dumpling dinner...but got to see a really famous rock star too...gotta love China.

Just thinking that my time here is really flying by quick *sigh* but i know that it has been something that has definately changed the way that i look at myself and what i could be doing in life. But....today is a busy day...so much to do, right now i have to prepare for kindergarten...and my mom is here today in Beijing ! She is right now on a plane over! You know, sometimes with communication and all, the world seems closer than its ever been. And i never would have thought my mom would be visiting me, in China of all places. haha... but right now i just got a call from my dad saying that their flight was delayed...woops...maybe i wont get to see them today ,who knows. more later....gotta go!

2002-10-14T04:39:00.000-07:00

What a day...I've taught about 2 classes so far, 2 times each. My first group of students are really well behaved and the teacher doesnt really have to do much to get their attention because they are already great kids and listen so well! My second class is all over the place and there is almost 30 kids...26 to be exact, enough for all the letters of the alphabet. Last weekend we went shopping at jin wu xing(½ð Îå ÐÇ)...which is a wholesale market that has everything. We ( me and my friend that is also teaching at the kindergarten) bought some ABC stuff along with some puzzles with ABC's 123's as well as little animal puzzles. Today the ABC stuff worked wonderfully. The thing about the kinder kids is that you just have to play with them, you cant really teach them anything, you just have to play with them. But i had a lot of fun with them today and the teachers were really helpful and gave me some really good ideas. What is really amusing is in the U.S. the students I taught called me "Miss Katherine"...in China, the kids call me, "He( Ho) Laoshi" (ºÎ ÀÏ Ê¦) and it is really great, I love it! So today I taught them a song for about 10-15 minutes, and then we played with the ABC toys. It worked! OLD MACDONALD worked! and then i had KFC for dinner. For some reason Chinese Cafeteria food did not sound good tonight. Rewarded myself with "Kentagi" (KFC)

After KFC tonight someone introduced me to a DVD/VCD place that has a great selection of stuff. I just wanted Chinese DVDs..surprisingly in the stores here there are mostly American DVDs...I picked up mostly chinese DVDs so i could practice chinese. I really dont like watching movies, but I get into chinese movies because it really makes me listen and try to mimick what they say. A lot of the time they also have subtititles, but i try to basically listen.

This weekend we are taking a trip to Î÷°².."Xi' an" and then coming back monday morning. I know that we are going to be REALLY tired! My mom is also coming next week monday! wow, time really flies fast. The weather here is getting a bit more chilly...i think that it might rain this weekend, though i hope that it doesnt. Everything else is just normal, the kindergarten was the highlight of the day, i really had fun teaching them...though i dont know if i could do it on a full time basis like the Teachers over there do. They look SOOO TIRED..poor teachers. But what i heard was that Kindergarten teachers get paid pretty much the same amount as College professors in China. I thought that was kind of interesting. But teaching english in China is something that i may want to come back and do for awhile while i am still learning the language. I think that my time here of 4 months has been long but in other ways has not been enough. I am really considering coming back here now that i am getting more comfortable with the environment and culture.

anyway, its movie and study time....more later!

2002-10-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

well, today I got a few emails from people telling me that they read my journal all the time! I guess I should write in it a lot more then. Yesterday was really busy. And I think that it is going to get a lot more busy because I am starting to teach my kinder classes this week. I just got a call from the Kindergarten, explaining in chinese only the hours that I will be working looks like it will be a Monday and Thursday gig.

Last night i got home at around 11:30 from BeiDa. Usually our class ends at around 9:30 and I get home about 10. We had a group project to do where we had to translate classical chinese into english. But most of the time all i could really help with was editing the english translation because my chinese is still so limited. But basically the story was about two chinese brothers who had a dispute over their late father's land. It was something that was supposed to teach us about how the Chinese traditional judicial system dealt with these kinds of disputes....and basically how family in chinese culture comes before anything. What happened in the story was that the judges were more upset with the fact that two brothers had a dispute...the fact that two family members could be so selfish toward one another....and how Chinese Traditional law is basically integrated with collective cultural standards and traditions. If that makes any sense.

So I hear Chinese more than I do english...and sometimes it is to a point where its just natural, i dont have to think about it, it just comes out. But I still do think in english...
but i have to go meet some people right now for the kinder gig...write more soon!

2002-10-05T06:18:00.000-07:00

In my worst english....
The weather? REALLY COLD!
Mom bring jacket!

Beijing Normal University £¨ ±± Ê¦ ´ó£©
feels normal today

Holiday, sickness...£¨¸Ð Ã° ÁË£©
Tianamen Square
Guo Qing Jie
Jia You! Jia You!
graduate?
Later.
Nobody cares about that.
Wo shi Meiguoren (ÎÒ ÊÇ ÃÀ ¹ú ÈË£©
I am American
I am a Chinese
Wo Ba Ba shi Zhong Guo de £¨ÎÒ °Ö°Ö ÊÇ ÖÐ ¹ú µÄ£©
Ma Ma shi Fei lu ben de!
Qu Nar?
So life is just normal.
So this is how life is supposed to feel like.
In between. £¨ÖÐ¼ä£©
always in between.
That is life.
Shi wo de shenghuo £¨ÊÇ ÎÒ µÄ Éú»î£©

2002-10-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

So Gu-Gu called me today to see how I was doing. It was really good to hear from people at home. And, being here I think what I've realized even more is the importance of family. Why? Well, I don't know....its really different with the Chinese culture. I think that you see it on TV and advertisements too. In the U.S. they use sex to sell products mainly....i mean you see commercials about anything and they have to do with something that appeals to sex or sexuality. In China they use the family....even with Coca Cola commercials they use little children along with their mothers. I don't know, it is just kinda interesting about the different values that come out of these commercials and ads. But western culture and especially American culture is slowly creeping into China. The other day I was disgusted to find that I was drinking a Pepsi with Britney Spears all over it. I just thought that was kinda ugh. And i think with all the changes that are happening with China, with that of the WTO and 2008 fun stuff....China will be just different. REALLY different....maybe looking more like the U.S.

Anyway, today I just plan to find a place to sit and study. I dont think that I've done that enough. I've just been a bit lazy, a bit sick but better now. I find that the slow pace of China sometimes makes me feel unproductive. I am not doing as much as I did when I was at home, especially with music. I hope that will change next week when I start teaching. BUT CHINESE IS HAAAAAAAAARD! I get so frustrated sometimes. I mean I understand a lot and i can say a lot sometimes...but it is not always there, and it is so hard when you are in a different country and you are trying to learn all these complicated things and at the same time trying to learn basic everyday useful vocabulary. But i would say, its the most challenging thing, but at the same time one of the best things I've done. I know that when i come back home it will be really different. But at the same time I think that I'll be really excited to come back. I book my flight the end of October, so I'll tell you the exact date when i get it.

off to lunch.

2002-10-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

So my mom says that my english is getting worse. I think when i go back home it is going to be really difficult for me to write essays or things like that. Its part of the reason why i didnt want to stay here a year. I still have to go back and finish some things before i graduate! But today, i have a few things to do. These last few days, on my VACATION of all things, i've been sick. But today i am a bit better and have to book my flight back home, which is very important (ill be home before christmas everyone).

Nothing much has been going on except the fact that i am just really content with how things are. Things are just simple ( with the exception of my "reading and writing" chinese teacher who always speaks with the most eloquent chinese words that i could never understand). But i think that finally in my life I've learn to sit...yes...sit. I think that in the U.S. you dont have the time or the means to think about something like sitting. It is something that you get bored with, something that you feel guilty or bored about doing. Here, people just sit outside on benches...sometimes at certain hours its hard to find a bench to sit on.

One observation i made about Chinese culture is that all different people live together .I mean from young to old. You always see old people taking their daily walks together. You hardly see that in the U.S., i dont know, sometimes the elderly are seperate from the young people. On our campus, the young and old are together, sometimes even hand in hand. It is just something that is really interesting to see, that you never see back home.

But anyway, my dad is trying to call me on my cell phone so i think that i better go.

2002-09-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

So i havent wrote in awhile, though ive wanted to....just havent. Life is not super interesting right now, but at the same time it is....because it is just regular, normal. Its finally reached that level where i feel pretty comfortable...and i really dont want to let go of that kind of comfort.

But one thing is that my stomach is really getting used to Chinese food. This morning i had something like a pankake with egg in it. Yeah, sounds nasty maybe but it was actually pretty good. It reminds me of what my dad would make for a kind of weird chinese breakfast. I stayed up last night thinking a lot about things, in both chinese and in english. What makes me really mad sometimes but more of frustrated is the classes that we have here. In the chinese education system, they learn mostly with memorization....i grew up wanting to understand and question everything. I guess that is the western school system way,,,but anyway. Half the time we are in class they have us repeat and memorize things that we dont even understand yet. I get really annoyed by that. I guess what i really want to actually be able to do is to try to express myself in the language that i am learning. I find it hard to express myself in words here sometimes, unless i am talking to someone in english. But last night i started to write with my dictionary handy, and i kinda just wrote my own essay. There is only so much you learn from class and if you dont speak or use things in real life, it doesnt happen.

Just read some news on the U.S....a lot of people here, even Americans dont even want to go back. Everything is just kinda scary in a way. I want to go back and finish my degree, but i think that learning Chinese is really important for me right now, especially to keep learning and learning. I know if i come back here i can be learning and working! I know that once i get back to the US the environment will be different and now that ive been learning here, i want to keep learning here. The Beijing accent is really distinctive and i really enjoy it. My grandma really likes it, and its something that you pick up on and that you mimick for fun. But not all teachers are Beijing folks, so you get so many differerent people pronouncing things different ways.

I am teaching kindergarten soon here at BeiShida...they are such cuties. I am going to be teaching them english as well as incorporating some music stuff of course. We are getting paid about 12 US dollars an hour which isnt bad especially for chinese standards...its a high wage! I was supposed to have class this weekend but then it got cancelled....yay! sooo excited! But next week, we have a week off because it is China National Holiday. YAY! haha.

Anyway, my mom and step dad are coming in about 3 weeks pretty much. Pretty excited about that. Mom, since I will be teaching kinder, maybe you can bring me some ABC flash cards?Possibly at a teachers supply store or i know Costco has some stuff and some Dr. Seuss Books , possibly HOP ON POP will be best i think. We are starting from 0 with these kids and need the basics.

Beijing Weather.....kinda chilly...kinda looks like its going to rain. There was some scary lightning and thunder one night....mom, bring some sweaters.

off to the cafeteria i go!

2002-09-18T18:40:00.000-07:00

Life here in China has definately changed since the summer. All the UC students have spread out into two different campuses and only a few are left here at Beishida. I just started classes yesterday...argh, its a lot of classes. But it is only about 4 hours a day. and you get chinese 24 hours a day. But i think that no matter what i do here i cant become like one of the Chinese, my mind is still in the American mindset...and my language level can be good, but not as good as some people. Sometimes i am here and i question if i got better or not, i think that i did, but then you cant tell because you are around a bunch of people who can speak fluently, so you still feel like ugh...maybe i didnt improve.

However, I am doing things more like what the locals do, taking the Bus more, which is a lot cheaper than the taxis, just a lot more crowded. Every meal i am eating at the Student Cafeteria which saves money and gets you what you need for a really cheap price. All you need is a "fan ca" (food card) and you are set. The biggest challenge is getting a seat because people literally push and shove to get one. woke up super early this morning to go get some breakfast...i still dont like breakfast very much, i think that i may just stick to the cereal that mom got for me from the US.....oh mom...i really have to make you another list again of the things that you can bring me...hehe.

But i would say, life is ....normal? Everything here that is standard, "biao zhun" i am beginning to understand. Yesterday i went to go buy a little cute school bag thingy....so she was asking for almost 200 kuai for it....(which was about 20 some US dollars) and i wouldnt have that. i told her 80 was my highest price....and after walking away a few times i got it for 80. That is about $10 at home, a pretty good bag too...haha. sometimes i wish we could do that in the US.

anyway, going to go study before lunch and class...

2002-09-17T16:17:00.000-07:00

So yes, i dont know, I havent written in here for awhile because well...i feel like there was really nothing to write about. And i think that what Barbie told me was right...I think that my english might be getting a little worse on these blog entries. I think that i am thinking more in more in Chinese so english just goes out the window. And then sometimes i will be with my American friends and speak english constantly and then forget how to say things in Chinese.

But anyway, today i really feel at home in Beijing. I think that I've finally gotten used to everything around here...to the point that when people ask directions on campus, i can say, Oh yeah its over there. haha. And after the summer and all its fun, i think that i can finally say that I know who my real friends are here, even though a lot of them are on another campus studying really crazy hard!

I just got some speakers. And they are really really nice, and i think that i got them for less than 10 US dollars. There is this wholesale market called JinWuXing about 10 minutes from my campus, me and my friends usually just take our bikes and go and buy anything we need. From speakers to hair straighteners, shoes, pet fish...haha...i have a pet fish now. I dont think I've named it yet. But it is finally used to my room. He was a little traumatized by the bumpy bike trip home. However...he is comfy now....maybe kinda like how i feel right now, comfy. The word for it in chinese is "shufu"... and nope, it cant get any better than this.

For the last few days I've been wanting to watch DVD's. You can get DVD's for about 1 US dollar here. Sometimes they are not that great quality wise. I have this perfect TV and a place to put it. I borrowed one of my friend's dvd players and for some reason it didnt work on my TV...argh. I just bought this Chinese movie too....REALLY want to watch it and i think that it will improve my chinese a great deal to watch movies.

Another thing is that i am going to be working maybe for the BeiShida's famous kindergarten too, teaching english. We will start maybe after out schedule is worked out. But yes, life is becoming actually normal now. Weird....but good.

2002-09-11T01:17:00.000-07:00

9/9/02

So I guess the question always is what am I going to do with my life huh? Mom called today, and i guess i think about things this way. Yes, their are practical things in life where you have to plan out exactly what you want to do next, which I catch myself doing all the time because I think that I subconciously copy my father sometimes. And will I be a forever student? Hui Da (answer): No , This is why I decided I am going to come home and graduate in Spring. But the thing is, I think that what I learned most about my parents and my family is that the Big Plan doesnt always work. Or what I mean is, how you want things and how you visualize things as your future doesnt always end up how you want them to exactly end up. And what is most important is just a kind of simple kind of contentment. Nothing has to be too complex or detailed. And i used to think things had to be.

And exploration in a different country allows me to not only sit down and learn characters but how to use language in everyday circumstances. I study everyday here. People dont think that. My dad thinks maybe i am just playing around. I learn in resturaunts, i learn when i am trying to fix a Flat tire on my bike, I learn watching TV, I learn reading some stupid chinese stories that are only funny in chinese but not in english. But yet i am still an American that doesnt look American, sometimes looks Chinese, and sometimes looks filipino. So maybe I am "playing around" as my dad says--but I say, communication and socialization in everyday life is what has made me improve. And these next months hopefully will make things even easier and better.

Education is something that I think that I will stay in. Right now I feel like i am in between worlds. Home? Home? Still finding where that is exactly. Its like an ongoing search I think ever since I was young where I think that people in my family all found where they kinda belonged and I was always at a friend's house, or somewhere else trying to look for home, I guess its an ongoing search.

But yes, sometimes you need time to relax, and i admit, I have really relaxed here on my little adventures. Last night I biked with some friends to Tianamen Square...which was a random suggestion but it turned out to be one of the greatest nights. I am still in awe over it.Just imagine...biking down that street...on your right, the Square...and to your left...Well hello chairman Mao! But at the same time with the fun, you realize how much you have because you see how much other people dont have. You are intermixed with the local people on the street, who put down newspapers for sheets, and just sleep on the floor at night. And I stopped and watched and said, " I have everything, why do i have everything and they have nothing?"

2002-09-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Well, since it is the big celebration tomorrow here, the place is packed. This morning I did a little shopping for toilet paper and scotch tape of all things. My bathroom doesnt have any toilet paper so i was resorting to packages of tissue that I had...which is standard( biao zhun) here, but I wanted toilet paper, and so I went.* Right now i am listening to Crawling in my skin...* haha. Anyway, so the toilet paper was for obvious reasons....but the scotch tape. Well, last night I was trying to think of something to decorate my room with. I thought i could do the big China map thing, which i have plenty of wall space for, but then I started to look at all my pictures. Had a thought, I could spell my name with the pictures! Maybe you dont know what i mean...but basically today I started with the first character of my name which is really my last name, "he" or Ho...and it is kinda boxy looking so pictures are perfect to make the shape of my name...no curves really, just boxes. So it really looks good on the wall. I really need a video camera, mom can you let me borrow one or get me an early Christmas present? haha. I really want to show all of you just the simple little stupid things i do here. I'll make a documentary or something. I'll title it, "Beijing Liuxuesheng ShengHuo" ( Beijing Foreign Student Life). But having my own room, is greeeeeeat!

So this morning after the toilet paper and scotch tape, I ventured off to try to see if the Kodak Photo Shop on campus was open...nope. I'll go later. So I started walking...and heard some brass instrument sounds. And sure enough...i saw BeShida's Band. And then to the side i saw a chinese performance dance troup that was totally amazing and i sat...wait...squatted, there for about 20 minutes listening and watching. Those are the kind of moments I've been having where I am like, oh my gosh, i am really in a different place. And my eyes open even wider, and it made me realize how much I miss performing...Biao Yen!(performance)

But today is starting off really well, I really enjoy time to myself sometimes, with the exception of eating meals. I feel like eating meals should be something social. But today, I am going to see if I can fix my really crummy Bike that is left on the other side of campus near my old dorm. Then maybe buy some pet fish which I've been wanting to get for so long! And maybe a few more things. I am thinking about flying a kite in Tianamen sometime next week, this is still one of my China todo's...or mustdo's. About 3 and a half months here. And i know that it is going to go by so quickly. And being in this Room...I feel like i want to be here forever. Its so nice. arghhhhh......Full size bed, my own bathroom, shower, office size desk, tv...utilites all included. I just paid off 3 months yesterday. So i am set. wow. i am a brat. Walking into the dorm you feel like you are at one of those nice hotels at WanFujin ( the commericalized area in beijing). The fuwuyuan greet you, everything. They are so nice, and treat you like i dont know. Sometimes i think that living here i am living in something unreal, in all different types of environments all the time. But I am understanding more and just feeling more comfortable walking around by myself, taking taxis, buses whatnot by myself. Ordering food...that is sometimes a problem, but you learn everyday, and i guess that is what always makes things exciting or new. I tilt my head at things in question everyday, and even though I dont understand everything, i start to just get the feel of things.

Right now listening to:
"I am a creep
I am weirdo
What the hell i am i doing here, i dont belong here...."

But, I'm loving it here.

2002-09-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, i am back in Beijing and at Peking University or Beida and i decided awhile ago that this quarter, i am going to be a Beida Bum...because well, i dont go here, but i love hanging out here. And besides, i am taking one class here this quarter, commuting from Beishida...which is about 20 minutes away taxi ride. Beishida is having their 100 year celebration tomorrow and it is all over the news and everything. Alumni are walking around the school and everything is just kinda hectic with cars coming in and out of the school. Its crowded and busy and crazy. haha.

i got my new dorm today...and had a conversation with a local chinese person, a friend of mine, and well heard a real life story in chinese about living in the country...and really how we are from different worlds. I realized how fortunate i am, and almost disgusted by the fact that i have so much sometimes. Because i know that money is not what makes you ultimately happy. But that is all i have to say about that...it was touching to hear...and really opened my eyes and kicked me in the ass at the same time. I dont know strange feeling.

Came back from Dalian yesterday. Had an amazing experience in Dalian. The last day i got to come into some of the real classes that they have there and I spoke to the kids in English and i did a recording in English for them. And I also taught the class a song. And doing Arts Bridge for a few years, i would have to say has helped me a great deal in getting in front of classroom settings or a lot of people, especially kids. I know that with kids big gestures and eye contact and speaking loud and with expression helps. And so in Chinese they asked me to sing Mei Guo de Guoji Ger...which means, US national anthem. Which, I've never sang solo before...and my first time to sing our national anthem solo was in Dalian, People's Republic of China. Then they followed with the China national song. It literally gave me goosebumps...they sang with so much energy and it was just amazing to watch. I was very touched by all their questions and all...i had such a good time. I have to go back.

But anyway....i am at a friend's place, so i really should go. Write more when i can....hopefully soon when they get the cable going in my new building that i am in!
zai jian!

2002-09-02T04:36:00.000-07:00

So yeah....again , i cant wait to go back to Beijing. Though Dalian is nice....i am staying with a family here that speaks only chinese, they know a few english words, and their 10 year old son has pretty much become my new chinese tutor, teaching me words constantly and correcting my pronunciation. haha.

Feeling a mix between worlds here...i dont know how to really descibe the feeling. Its like, being American but not being American. Being Chinese but not being Chinese...i dont know...its so weird and frustrating, and i think that sometimes it is what keeps my mouth shut here. And i think that people get frustrated when you look chinese and cant speak chinese. And i think that i get frustrated when people say they speak english, but really they dont....so its always a communication game. and leaves you hanging kinda lonely.

But today i got to spend time with a lot of kids. A lot of cuties...a lot of kids crying. My dad's friend has a kindergarten so it was their first day. I helped some of the teachers with the ones that were crying for their momma....whewwww....kindergarten is a lot of work. I think that it is a full time job for the people who work there because the kids stay there all week and dont go home until the weekend. But its tough on the kids too i bet, going to a different environment with people they dont really know....geez...i guess now i can relate. I feel like a big kid today, cant really understand much and cant really communicate my thoughts.

aiya.

2002-08-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

So yes i am in DaLian now with Daddy. Its kind of weird having family around and a sense of home around when you havent for awhile. I tell you the other day i was so frustrated with the mix of environments. Sometimes i just want to be by myself. But i think being with dad my chinese goes out the window. Maybe its all in the mind or whatever, but the dependency comes back. My chinese is better when i am on my own. Like now i can take the taxis by myself and yell at the drivers when they dont know where they are going and my chinese is best.

Thinking about the after student life a lot, and i think that i have even more time to think about it in the months here. I have decided NOT to stay the year, i know some people were kinda questioning and wondering if i was going to do it or not. Though i think that because i have established some kind of sense of home here it is going to be difficult to return i think. But i realized how different my EAP experience is compared to a lot of EAP people. My dad has so many contacts here and i know that i can come back here. I am here in DaLian and my dad just took me to a school that they are just opening here for english training and other things. They want me to stay here and tutor some of the kids music but then i just got word that my dorm will be ready. I really want to go back to Beijing, but of course i will have two weeks of nothing over there. I dont know what is better or what is worth it. I think that i will try to give Catherine or Yu Laoshi a call tonight and see what is going on.

Tired hungry, and thoughts are everywhere......but i will be back before dec 26th for sure.

2002-08-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah the old Kat is back again. And back in the internet bar. Gosh do i miss Beijing already. The Sichuan Province is getting a bit too spicy for me. We had "hot pot" last night which was really really good and spicy....but I think that i am about ready to go back to Beijing. Its funny how when we go on these trips we are always so glad to go back to Beijing...i guess it has become like home.

But I say that i am back because this whole trip I've been thinking about the next step...always have to have that plan. So I spent so long looking for the write words to email somebody for an internship, and it is so hard to write sometimes now because all you hear around you is Chinese. So you get into different modes and stuff, Chinese mode, English mode ( which is often)...and damn i dont want to do anything mode. And the weather is really hot in Chengdu today, so all i want to do is sit by this computer and this fan that is right next to me. My shopping friend will back soon, and I will have to go back to the millions of people that are outside and the hundreds or maybe even thousands of vendors that are outside trying to get you to by something. And you know i dont like to really shop unless i really need something.

Something everyone loves here is MacDonalds "bingqiling" or Ice Cream cone...they have this new thing where they dip it in chocolate like they do at dairy queen...yum. Had one today already, but i had sichuan noodles for lunch! Had the numbing stuff by accident...eew...but today is just very chill. I dont want to do anything really, its too hot and sticky to walk around. I just cant wait to get on the plane tomorrow. 10 days in this province was good enough. Its weird going to different provinces because they speak with different accents. And even if they are speaking Putonghua ( mandarin) since they have a different accent it is so hard to understand them, especially because our chinese is so limited. But our travel agent called today and I answered the phone and actually understood everything he said and talked back. yay....

Life in China is now...tired and ready to go back to Beijing.

2002-08-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

So i spent at least an hour looking for this place. Me and my friend Maria kept on asking where the nearest "WangBa" is...and we finally found it. We found one in a little corner but i wanted to find a bigger one...but anyway...
right now i am back in Chengdu, a city in the Sichuan Province. Its been a few days since we've been here...we've been out in the countryside hiking different mountains that are really famous in the Sichuan Province. One is called Huang Long, which means, Yellow Dragon...on the way there we got to sit on some Yaks....which ive never seen in my life. A lot of touristy places sell Yak Jerky...mmm mmm...i dont know if i tried it or not though i tasted a lot of different jerkys. I took some digital pictures of the Yaks so when i get back to Beijing i will send pictures through email of me and the Yaks. We also went to a place called Jiuzhaigou, which was a really calm place with a lot of scenery...and we hiked a lot, at least 10 miles. So we got a lot of excercise on this trip and it is so awesome to be in the city now close to things that we are used to.

Well, since we've been eating a lot of local food in the mountains, ever since last night I've had western food. Pizza Hut, and McDonalds! haha...expensive but good after eating the same thing everyday for like a week. Especially Chinese food...i think that i eat it because i have to . To tell you the truth i dont really like it all that much. I think that tonight we are going to attempt "Chuan Cai" (sichuan food) which is spicy spicy! I had a little taste of it the other day when i accidently ate a seed from some kind of pepper that was not super hot but it numbs your lips so you cant really feel your lips for maybe about 10 minutes. And the Sichuan people seem to enjoy it. I wont eat the numbing stuff tonight.But i think that my stomach is actually ready to take on the spicy food.

The hotel that we are staying at is really interesting. If you speak english, people like to charge you at a higher cost. So since we are students we wanted to find a cheap place. Our travel agency got us to stay at a really cheap place, but the catch is, we cant let the maids and other people know that we are "wai guo ren" ---foreigners. Though we look like it! So we have to constantly speak Chinese when we get out of our rooms. It gives us a chance to really practice. Sometimes i pretend that i understand and laugh when they laugh. I think that i am really good at pretending. Most times i can get the basic idea. But we dont want them to know that we are foreingers...but it is so hard because we just look different. And someone like me, if i tell them i am chinese, they dont believe me. If i tell them i am filipino, they dont believe me. If i tell them I am American, they dont believe me. And i have this conversation with people everyday that i am here. "Where are you from ?" they ask...

I write a lot in a journal that i keep with me constantly. I've been writing in English but i also write in Chinese...though my chinese is still very limited. When i write outside , which i have been on these mountain trips, people always pass by me and are puzzled or facinated by the fact that i am writing english so fast. Then they ask the same questions, where are you from, how come you can write english so well??...etc. And what was really cute one day was a lady made me come over and meet her son that looked like he was about 9 years old or something and just made him try to speak english to me. I guess he was learning english and she wanted him to practice on me. I thought it was pretty amusing...and i seem to get this a lot when people see that i am writing in English. People get so excited about it.

So i am on vacation now...my dad is coming in a few days to Beijing and then we are going to travel more. I forgot what i was going to say now...oh yeah! OK. Yeah, before i came i think that i really started to feel a bit of the homesick feeling because the summer people were leaving for home. I got kinda sad because a lot of the new friends i made were the summer folks. And there were a lot of them. So for our little summer Graduation Ceremony I attempted my first musical performance in China. I bought some bongo drums here and some of the people play guitar on the program. So basically i had one of my friends help me translate some lyrics that i had made up, and we figured out a tune. And basically my song was in "Chinglish" half chinese and half in English. A lot of our Chinese teachers were there so I wanted to write a Chinese song. So basically i sang and played drums while my friend accompanied me on guitar and i sang this "chinglish" song basically about not wanting to say goodbye and remembering the days that we spent together. A kind of graduating kinda song. Really Chinese-cheezy, but i liked it. And it was so fun because i havent peformed in awhile. But twas a success and my chinese singing wasnt that bad. haha. Maybe i should just be a Chinese Rock star and never go home...haha just kidding.

Wow its really hot in here. I guess these small places dont have air conditioning. And today in Chengdu it is really humid and stuff, kinda rainy too. Most people here are playing counterstrike, that is usually what the Internet bar culture is all about. haha. Well, anyway, i think that i am going to sign off now. and i know its been a long while since ive written anything down here. Hopefully once i get my new dorm i will have internet access in the dorm. They are building a new dorm and i dont know when it will be finished but hopefully it will be when the fall quarter starts. I requested the new dorm...woopie...and it is supposed to have internet lines in every room. But anyway, hope to write more soon.

2002-08-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

So i have 5 minutes.....
i am in a city called Chengdu which is south of Beijing....having a great time climbing mountains and different things...seeing monkeys in a jungle area called Emei Shan and also a big buddha called LeMei Shan.
I just got up at 3 am today to go up to a mountain to see the sunrise, and now we are off to another mountain when i found this internet bar....
but our tour guide is going to come get us really really soon so i will write more when i get back to the city....
But i know i havent wrote in awhile so...i will write more later when i have more time!

2002-08-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I didnt really finish my innner mongolia trip stuff because we have had school and everything and I havent really had the time to write everything that i wanted to write about it. Its been a tiring day, walking around, trying to find a place to study. It is difficult in the dorm because everyone always gets you to go somewhere...it is just distracting. Finals are tomorrow and the next day, and i dont think that i am ready for them. The summer has been going by so quickly, i think that the fall will go just as fast. I guess time flies when you are having fun right?

Wow, what to say about this week? I did so many things, that it is hard to talk about a specific one. I wish that i had internet access all the time so that everything could just be written all at one time. Sometimes it is really a chore to come over here, and today i am extremely lazy. haha. But this week i have really been thinking about how fast time goes here, and what i have to go back home to. There is a Chinese Law and Society Class that will be offered in English this year at Peking University in the fall. I am thinking that maybe this might count for something in my soc major. So that is a good thing. My dad will be here in about 2 weeks already ...and we are planning the daddy/daughter thing i guess to DaLian...to visit his friend, ZhuMing. But since finals are tomorrow I get about a month off. I will be going with a bunch of friends to a place called Chengdu, which is in the Sichuan Province...yes, spicy food. And I've called our little travel group the SHAN CLAN! Shan meaning, Mountain and Clan meaning Clan. hehe. Because basically we will be going to a lot of mountain areas and seeing a lot of nature stuff. Not a lot of busy city living,like Beijing. But more of the pretty stuff!

Today i went with Yu Laoshi and a few people to a Catholic Mass conducted in Chinese. It was my first time going here, and it was pretty interesting. There was so much going on, and i never knew that there was such a big catholic community. But of course, in comparison to the overall china population it is really small. But surprisingly enough, my listening skills have improved a great deal and i understood some of the gospel and what the priest was saying. Especially the "Be not afraid" ...it was just an overall good experience thought it was very early in the morning. 8 am. PAH! Yu Laoshi took us to breakfast afterwards. Afterwards i went to sit at starbucks and studied for awhile. Nap...and then now i am here. I think i am going to walk over to tube station and study. Tube station is a sandwich place around here. There is finals and i dont know how i am going to do! ARGH! But, i am only taking this summer for 3 units total, for two classes. This class tomorrow is only 1 unit. Since i dont need that many chinese units i am taking very few. But the experience has been wonderful.

Im off to eat and study....

I will write more soon because I really have to study...i know...study? what is that?

2002-08-06T07:16:00.000-07:00

NeiMongu (Inner Mongolia) Trip

Day 1:Departure "duzi bu shufu"(stomach uneasiness)
Thursday, August 1, 2002

On the bus to the train station my stomach was giving me trouble. I had random pains every few minutes. They were sharp pains and very frequent. I would have to say that it was something that I ate. The night before my dad's friend ZhuMing took me out to dinner and we ate this dish called "shui zhu yu" which is a very tasty fish but one that I think I will stay away from for a very long time. When we finally arrived at the train station, I swear my stomach was telling me to go back to LanHuiGongYu, but my mind kept saying No you have to go to Nei Mongu! Right after I asked Yu Laoshi what she thought of my symptoms. She immediately called a local Chinese stomach specialist and luckily enough we were right next to a pharmacy inside the train station. On the train I was fortunate to have two mom-like people right next to me, Yu Laoshi and another student's mom, both making sure that I was OK. Yu Laoshi said something very true in the morning to the mom who came with us. " The thing about this girl is that you can only pamper her so much, then she wants to be on her own, because she likes being independent." But anyway, it was my first time "Di yi ci" riding a train and I would have to say that it wasnt too bad at all. The "hard sleepers" as they call it are sets of 3 bunk beds pretty much attached to the wall. The mattress itself is not really a mattress but really hard. But I think that it was pretty comfortable in comparison to a bus or a plane. You get so much more rest laying down than you do sitting down.

Day 2:Camels and "zhou"(rice porrige)
Friday, August 2, 2002

Since my stomach was still not doing so well, I ended up justing eating rice porrige for lunch and it is what I had for dinner too. In between I managed to eat a few crackers and I bought some gatorade at my dorm to drink. But during this trip I've found that the best crackers for a "bu shufu" (uncomfy) stomach and even for random hunger pains...it has got to be "Tai Ping" crackers! They are plain but yummy!

Anyway, about the stomach not feeling better...it didnt stop me from going to the "Shamuo" or Desertland. One of my big China goals was to get to ride a camel. And there we were in Inner Mongolia desertlands with hundreds of camels ready to ride! It was an interesting experience, we had to pay a bit to ride it but it didnt matter...was totally worth it! After the camel ride and the many random pictures that we took , I sat in the sand. The desert was literally deserted and almost unreal. The sky was completely blue and it seriously reminded me of a movie or some kind of video game or something. The sand was so different than what I have ever seen before and just so perfect. I brought some sand home with me in a empty water bottle just for fun. Hopefully I can bring it home to show you guys later.

After that we found out that our hotel was taken over by some serious government conference and we were booted out of our hotel. The government suggested a place that we ended up arriving at. When we got to the rooms...ugh...they were really horrible. I wasnt about to complain so I went ahead and attempted to take a shower. No shampoo, no towels! I used soap to wash my hair and just used some dry clothes to dry myself off. When my little attempt to shower was finished one of the coordinators in the hallway was yelling , OK WE ARE MOVING TO A DIFFERENT HOTEL! The hotel that we ended up with was really nice. A really new one and it was the first time that they had American students staying in it. But like all the EAP folk say back home, " You are like ambassadors for the US as well as the UC system."

Day 3:Dirty Towels and "tui gong gong qi che"(pushing the bus)in the rainy grasslands
Saturday, August 3, 2002

" You are like ambassadors for the US as well as the UC system." We woke up in the morning eating a wonderful breakfast ( of course i had the zhou) and Yu Laoshi informs us that a few of the students stole a few towels. In China, that is a no-no. She was super embarassed by us I think because people were afraid to give them back and she paid the difference out of her own pocket. I couldnt believe that. But she was really upset because she pretty much had to defend us ( the students) She told me later that the hotel people were asking, " Weishenme Meiguo Xuesheng zenme jiangzi?" ( Why do American students act this way?) So I think that we left a not so good impression on the Inner Mongolian hotel people. eek...its really not a good feeling to make our director angry either. She was really upset...grrr...not so good.

Then we were off to the "CaoYuan"( grasslands) of inner mongu. The weather was quite interesting and it started to pour. The buses took a turn on a grassy area. Grass, dirt, rain...put it together and what have you got? Bibitybobbity buses stuck in the grassy mud in the middle of "I dont know where we are" land. So what did the Meiguo XueSheng do? We got out of the buses and into the rain and mud and tried to help push the buses out of the mud. Did it work? Nope. But we tried and tried for 3 hours. There were 2 of our buses that we stuck and the other one was bus 1 which went another way but also was stuck. We waited around for 3 hours and then Yu Laoshi by means of Cell phone decided that we should walk to the Mongolian Camp site that was approximately 40 minutes walk. Some people walked and some people rode a horse. I walked because I didnt want to wait for the horses.

We walked and walked and my shoes and socks were totally soaked. The 40 minute walk turned into about an hour and a half because our little tour guide was taking us the wrong way. Which I think wasnt completely her fault. The grasslands were pretty much deserted for miles and you couldnt tell which way was the right way. There wasnt any specific land marks or anything. We got pointed in the right direction by some local police who tracked us down and yelled and pointed. "Mei Wenti" (No Problem) we just turned the other way. On the way there we saw flocks of sheep, cows, horses...it was just a green open grassland. Nothing but green. Completely amazing and beautiful. Even though we were not going according to schedule on this day, everyone agreed that getting lost and found in the Mongolian Grasslands was an experience that you couldnt get anywhere else. We found Yu Laoshi waiting for us at the finish line near the Mongu Bao. ( Mongolian Yeerks!)

In each MonguBao, ok, whats a mongubao? Basically it is what the Mongolians live in. It is a round shape little hut that can fit about 6 people in it. Usually before i think that it was for lovers or something like that. You could take your special person to the Mongubao..and yep. But it is also a place where you can sleep. On the inside there was a huge rug and some pillows and blankets, so we basically slept on the rug. I stayed with a few girls whom I've never really chatted with before and two of them go to UCI. They all spoke Cantonese which is very common here on the UC program. Anyway, after we got situated at the Mongubao, we had an amazing dinner...which my stomach was not about to miss.

TO BE CONTINUED BECAUSE I HAVENT FINISHED WRITING YET...HAO MA???

2002-07-28T01:02:00.002-07:00

July 28,2002

So I got a taste of real China today, and hung out with the true locals here at Beishida. I don't know what it is but i coming out of the UC circle today I realized how much I didnt know, and the experience was maybe hard to describe in words.

Being with the UC crowd at Lanhui Gong Yu, we are segregated from the rest of the campus. We are foreign students and therefore foreign! We still are on the outside, not being able to look in. Today I got the chance to look in, and it was one of the greatest experiences thus far. I went with a few Chinese students to dinner. Our Wushu teacher speaks english as well as Chinese of course and asked me to go. I was a bit nervous at first because my Chinese was not so good, but i figured, it was a good chance to practice. The Dorms are empty this weekend because everyone went traveling. But I am glad that i got to see a bit of Beijing. So anyway, I went to dinner with a few students and it was someone's birthday! So we ended up having cake at the REAL chinese dorms. It was a bit freaky because the dorm that we went to was on the same floor as mine and pretty much the same room number and same set up, except it wasnt LanHui. There are 5 people to a room that is smaller than our room. I had my little conversations in "Chinglish" and really had a good time seeing how other people live. When I finally walked back to my dorm, I had this really weird feeling. I have so much, we have so much. And what I have been living in for the past month is something that some people or students here cant even imagine. It is a big difference and a big gap between people here. And I got a little taste of it today. But yet, I wasnt really afraid or uncomfortable. Culture shock? No, just more of a relization that what we have is not what other people have.

The village gave me that same kind of feeling, really seeing the people and the faces of China. But this time, these were people my age, some people trying so hard to go to study in the US and get their visa. Met one person that passed the GRE...and they told me that they have a little funny acronym saying for that. GRE ..."GOOD READ ENGLISH" haha. I was crackin up.

2002-07-28T01:02:00.001-07:00

July 27, 2002

So I came back from a really great day. It was just one of those days that I have been looking foward to for a very long time. I took the Gonggongqiche 22 to XiDan and walked to the place that I was the previous day. I am really proud of my birthday present that I got for someone because it was only 60 kuai which is less than 10 bucks at home and it was one of those Chinese seals which is awesome. I am glad that I am getting used to other means of transportation besides the taxis and the bike.

I started the week off with wanting to do something in Beijing that was unlike what we usually do in Beijing...go to school, eat, sleep, shop, and sightsee. So i suggested Beijing Jingju ( Beijing Opera), my crowd of two people suddenly turned into 8 by today and it was very cool. I think that my ears are still ringing from the cymbals crashing. We were right next to the pit orchestra. hehe. But in that theater they give you snacks and tea...and it doesnt go as long as western operas as we know it. This was only one hour and i think that the hour seemed like it wasnt good enough. There was no specific plot or anything, it kept on flipping from scene to scene. But the movements were awesome, especially poses that are sharp and precice with the music...athough the music was loud! The percussion was a bit piercing with the really high pitch cymbals that they had. But overall it was a great experience. Something that you have to do when you are in Beijing!

After Jingju, we hopped on the bus again and tried to find our way to Wanfujin a really commercial/westernized area. Dad stays on this street when he comes to Beijing and most of the five star western hotels are on this street. At night, there is always a night market with everything on a stick. I had some friends that tried Scorpion on a stick. Yes, Scorpion on a stick. It was pretty amusing. But as I said, they have everything imaginable on a stick. From fruit, to grasshoppers, beetles and of course stinky chinese dofu (toufu).

And so i've found the frustration of not knowing how to communicate my thoughts here. I sit with my tutor to try to make a simple sentence, but my mind never thinks that way. I notice that in English I try to say too much to get a thought across. I have to mention background events leading up to things. In Chinese you dont do this. Everything is straightfoward and to the point. Sometimes it is very blunt and I think that most people in America would think that it would be rude, but here, I guess its ok. So I am having difficulty making sentences because I am trying to explain myself in Chinese which always takes too long. It leaves my tutor saying..." Dont make a story! Make a sentence!" haha. But it is the best feeling when I "mingbai" ( understand) something and make my own sentence. Language is just the most facinating thing because communication is so important in everyday life. Interaction with others is what makes you feel whole. And I find it hard for me to sit down and study when Chinese is all around me. There is more pressure here than at home which I study Chinese just to do well on the "tingxie"(dictation) the next day. Using it for everyday kind of living is just different, and its hard for me to just sit here. I get restless. But i want to make it a habit to study more. The dynamics are so different and I tell you sometimes I just want to sit here and write, which I do a lot. I do less here than I do at home, but I find myself so tired. Who knows, maybe I am finally relaxing from last month and all the crazy preperation for the big recital, finishing artsbridge, finals and coming here. Relax? whats that?

2002-07-28T01:02:00.000-07:00

July 25, 2002

So the day started off really ugh...I was so tired from class that I went home and crashed at my dorm. I was really upset because a lot of the things that can upset me at home still makes its presence in China. So what did I do? I decided to go wander and see what there was to do...so I did.

I ended up following a bunch of people who were on a search for chinese calligraphy paintbrushes. They were taking the bus..." Gonggonqiche" to the places that had them. We went out the DongMenr (East Gate) to catch the 22 bus that takes you to XiDan. Ok...so let me explain.. XiDan is a really commercial type of area, a lot of people and a lot of shops. I bought my shoes there last week. So anyway, that is not where they wanted to go. We walked past XiDan to an area that was a bit more, hrmm...not so rich and classy. But kept walking...found the paintbrush place! Actually there were a lot of places.

So we were in a store and the girls were going to look at paintbrushes but the little chinese seal/stamps caught my eye. So i started to look at those by myself and of course a shop person followed me around. And so I knew that it was a place that I could bargain, so i kept quiet for a little bit just looking. So in certain situations like these where I am by myself and I am not in the influence of people that speak english around me, my best Chinese comes out. So the store person asks me which ones I like. And in Chinese I say, " Well, I like the dragon...it is my friend's birthday and his name is BaiLong ( which means white dragon)...and i didnt bring that much money with me." He said that he understood this and that i should name my price. So I didnt really name my price and the girls wanted to go already. So i told him that I would look around first ...Haha...so that is what i said with Chinese. But I did finally find a place later that I got the dragon, the chinese character carving, and ink for 60 kuai. which is less than 10 dollars at home. I would say, that it wasnt that bad. I had some help to bargain. hehe. However, we were taking so long to bargain and stuff that the store was going to close. So the carving man was not there and so i had to leave the stamp there to get carved. So i have to pretty much hike over there tomorrow to go get it. But it is ok because I enjoy XiDan. And now i know how to take bus 22.

2002-07-28T01:01:00.000-07:00

July 24,2002

I think that I am having one of those days of the reasons why Beijing "shi bu shufu" ( is not comfortable). First of all, our toilet in our room is never working right. I always have to knock on somebody else's door to go. Everytime I come home from school I am already totally exhausted. Maybe because it is Chinese class and everything. Definitions, explainations, questions, etc are all conducted in Chinese. So I come out of there totally tired because we listen to 4 hours of straight Chinese. I guess, sometimes i dont think that i am improving, and i get frustrated with that. It is probably the reason why you see me write so much here, it is kind of my only outlet. I mean, I can talk to people here...but comfort level is getting less...people have broken off into their specific little cliques within a month's time. So in a way, we are just pretty much living the UC culture in a different country. " wo juede," ( I feel) not that great about this. Its like, i want to go and do something, but i feel like i shouldnt go out and do it by myself...but it is really difficult to find people interested in doing the things that I want to do.

Like for instance, I want to go fly a kite in Tianamen Square. People think that is boring? I don't know, i thought it would be the coolest thing to do while you are here in Beijing. I think that it is all the stuff that I watched as a kid about China that has influenced what i want to see and do. I remember watching "Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveler"...for those of you who haven't watched it, this boy travels around the world on a stamp. ( Just at this very moment, lightning flashes and it scares me because i see it through my window) tut tut, looks like rain.....anyway, i hope that my power doesnt go out. What was I saying...oh yeah the stamp guy. So everytime he is mailed to different places traveling on a letter and the letter has to be dropped in order for him to shrink and be able to travel on the stamp....but the point of the story is, when he goes to China, there is this scene where a dragon kite and a whole bunch of other kites are flying in Tianamen Square. And that is where i get it from. I want to do that...and the crazy thing is, i can. Tianamen Square is about 15 minutes from my dorm if i get a taxi to take me there.

Another movie I remember is Big Bird in China. It was all about Big Bird searching for this phoenix bird. He goes and travels all over China getting clues from the Monkey King, who tricks him all the time...but he eventually finds his way. He sees the most famous and most beautiful sights in China, mountains especially. I want to see those mountains.

I know that it is kinda funny how I mention all these little kid movies that I watched...but i think that it really influenced the way that i think about this place and my little kid dreams of seeing certain areas of China. I'll probably be like Big Bird and go around not knowing where I am and probably follow the clues of whatever crazy monkey I find over here.

I guess we are getting used to how things are run around here. I ride my bike everywhere just like everyone else does. We eat in the cafeterias sometimes with the regular students. In this "canting" (cafeteria), it is always crowded, the food is cheap, people push and shove. In China there is no such thing as a line. You have to push your way to the font, even at Macdonalds. Eating is always a process.

Signing off, school in the morning. Can't wait for the weekend...wooh hooh.

2002-07-24T03:43:00.000-07:00

I have about 30 minutes here ate the internet cafe before i go to a meeting. It is an internships in China meeting! wooh hooh.

I really enjoy all of the emails that people have been sending me. Brandon, ( i mention you again), man, i was laughing and almost cryin reading yours, it was touching and funny at the same time. I am glad that you had a wonderful birthday, and am glad that you included me in spirit. Stephen thanks for yours also, it is great to know what is happening in the apartment and with you. Mel, I always feel that you are not too far away with your emails. =) So i know i dont send that many emails out because my time here at the cafe is limited and i have to pay money for it, but i love getting emails! So send one if you can, i would love to hear what you are up to.

Today, i felt that my chinese much improved because i was trying to speak with my tutor for two hours. Her english is about as limited as my chinese so it is always a challenge to try to explain things to each other because we are constantly using dictionaries to find the meanings of things. It is really a kind of hard process but in the end it is all worthwhile because we finally end up understanding each other.

My promise to myself to eat "zhong guo cai" ( food) has been successful over the past few days, and tomorrow will be thursday here, so i am really proud of myself. Its cheap and i dont like it all that much but hey....you have to eat. And, I've been writing about my weekend of spending too much money on western food for my homework due tomorrow. Haha...well this weekend I've decided to culture myself and try to go to see some sort of Beijing Opera performance,something that ive been wanting to do. I am kind of sick of just going to the usual places to shop, party or sightsee...so me and a friend and maybe a few friends may go to see something on friday...ill tell you how it goes.

uh oh...time to go, i have to go to the library for the meeting and there are so many steps in the library, it takes forever to climb all the way up to the meeting room. I have 10 minutes....eeek! More to come soon~!

2002-07-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

July 23, 2002

So I was thinking of going to Shanghai this weekend. My roomate and a lot of my friends are going. Priscilla Chen is there and I really wanted to to stay with her. Shanghai is no biggy for me because I saw it in September. But i guess it would have been fun to get to hang out with Priscilla in the limited time she is here in China. She is coming to Beijing, but that is the weekend that we are going to Inner Mongo(lia). So i think we are just going to miss each other completely. aw.

My dad has called me the last few days here. Mom called one time too a few nights ago. But dad, he is really concerned about the Month that is a free for all month for the people who are staying here for the half a year and year long periods. I guess I've never heard or seen my dad be such a dad till i started this whole EAP China business. I think it is because this is my dad's place, where his roots are, therefore he thinks of me as a lost puppy in the midst of it all. Which is absolutely right, I am lost at times! But being here a month, I think that I've gained a little confidence in going somewhere and ordering something and getting what I want just by a few words and gestures. I guess some places you travel to you won't get it as good. But again, I've never heard my dad say something like, "Well, if you dont do this, i am not going to let you go." I am like...what the? My dad? Say something like this? Usually he is the type to say, well, you are grown up now you should have a plan and make your own decisions...blah blah...now he's being this Daddy. I don't know I guess it is really quite strange to me. hehe. So dad has decided that I shouldn't go to Shanghai for the weekend to visit my friend in Shanghai...though today he still asked me if I was still going to go to Shanghai. Sheesh.

With the Chinese, Tou Dou Da Le...( big headache) when it comes to class and remembering. I don't know, at home in the U.S. I study like crazy and i remember a lot. Here i have trouble remembering the littlest things. I think that my learning curve is not that great i dont know. Maybe it is because i am still around all these U.C. folk...and maybe i am still shy to use my Chinese, but i get frustrated when my mandarin mei you chu lai....( wont come out!) When someone can speak english, i tend to speak english with them. I NEED TO SPEAK MORE GRRR!

My dad asked me, how much money do you still have left? Well, I havent spent that much actually. i think that i have only exchanged $100 U.S dollars ( mei yuan) and I still have 100 kuai left fromt that. I havent gone crazy mad with the shopping that is for sure. But last night i wrote down how much money i think that i should be spending weekly. And I have been keeping up with my eating Chinese food promise this week. Last night we ate at a Mian place. ( noodle place) I only spent about 10 kuai for dinner...and at home that is about a little over a dollar. And i got a coke and an IceCream too. If only you could eat that cheap at home huh? We would all be saving a lot of money. hehe. Yeah, western food here, or anything that resembles America will want some serious cash from you.

Thats all from my world right now...zai jian

2002-07-22T03:19:00.000-07:00

July 22, 2002

Happy Birthday to my buddy Brandon who will be turning his big 21 today. Brandon, I will tell you that I have been practicing the horn these last few days, so you'll be proud. But have a safe and wonderful birthday, we will be sure to celebrate it when i get back home.

I didn't really do much today but eat and sleep. That sounds kinda lazy huh? Well, I did some reading and writing also, and some chinese review. Everybody was up late studying. I don't feel like i am studying as hard here as i did back at home. i think that it is because i am having a hard time already just trying to survive on the streets and stuff with the normal everyday eating, and buying things. That is a process for me already. But i like how our teachers try to teach us things to use for everyday kind of living in China. So it is great to have those teachers to really help us out. But when i can speak and understand i feel really great, until i run out of things to ask or say.
Tomorrow i plan to just walk around campus taking random photos around so you guys can see what it looks like. But i think that just noticed that i havent really described the environment that i live in here at LanHui Gongyu and the day to day interaction that goes on.

We have automatic sliding doors leading to our dorms. There is a doorman that is on duty 24 hours a day. Yes, they switch shifts. At night if we come home late, which we did last night, we have to wake the doorman up to let us in. They take naps at night. But everytime we come in they greet us with a "Ni hao"and so do the reception people at the front desk. Then we take the elevators up to whatever level, I am on the 6th floor so that is where I go! The EAP office is located on the 7th floor, i frequently go
up there to say hi and to chat with the staff and Yu Laoshi. On the 2nd level there is a cafeteria which i never really go to because i dont like the food really. And they also have a little stand with everything possible, including ice cream, cookies, soda..instant noodles, gatorade, you name it. The only thing about this store is that everything is so much more expensive than if you bought it from outside of Lan Hui.

Been trying to read the Lonely Planet, that my roomate and all these other people have for travel in China. There is so much to see in China and I am really looking forward to seeing parts that I havent seen. I know that it will be quite an adventure. Two weeks from now we are going to Inner Mongolia by train with everyone from EAP. It is going to be kind of like how we had it in the village where we do not get to shower for a few days. So wet naps are always good. I would say that it is quite an experience to feel really dirty. I mean, it really feels dirty. But we survived and Lan Hui really has become something nice to come home to. In the fall, Yu Laoshi is planning to take us to Xi'an, so that will be cool to experience with less people because all the summer people will be filtering out in the next month or so. I really think that the summer is really a short time to really experience what goes on here. I feel like i just got here, so i am glad that i am staying. But i would have to say that some days
i do get home sick.

Today i got up from a nap and felt this overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I looked outside my dorm room and nobody was there. I found people later, but i felt like i slept through everything. This week i should study, get some exercise, and have chinese food. Western food sucks up all your RMB. I spent more this week than any other week that ive been here. So cheaper chinese food it is.Though i do have some cupons for MacDonalds. haha.

2002-07-22T03:18:00.000-07:00

July 21, 2002
So it has almost been a month here in Beijing and yes my Chinese has improved a bunch. Last night we gave in to Hard Rock and literally "snarfed" down 2 plates of nachos that were super expensive but I guess we didn't care because we wanted them. Mmmmmm Nachos.salsa and nachos. I am going to try to stick to authentic Chinese food this week but I seriously doubt that will happen. Well, it was me and one of the "Princeton Prison" people organized this event. I brought some of the girls from the UC program and he brought some of the guys from the Princeton prison. The girls decided to leave early and there I was again, with the boys. I mean, I like the fact that I can hang with the guys no problem, but I also hate the fact that sometimes guys often forget that yes I am a girl too and can be sensitive to things.Not thatanything went wrong that night, but i think that in general this is what i feel.

One of the Princeton guys ended up talking to this local Chinese girl at Hard Rock. It was hilarious because he couldn't really speak Chinese at all, and couldn't really
understand it either. Before we left we all came over there and talked to her also. I told her that I was the only girl in the group so she should come with us. Surprisingly, I had my first real kinda girl talk with this local person. This was because I asked why she was by herself, and she said that she was having a bad day. I guessed it was some kind of drama, "guy problem" so I asked her if it was her boyfriend giving her trouble. And she pretty much said, yeah it was pretty much a boy problem. she had met her boyfriend at work in Beijing and he is a "Taiwan Ren" ( from Taiwan)and he had to go back home, probably for good. So she wasn't too happy but she did suggest a place for us to go and came with us also.

We ended up going to this club that a lot of local people go to. It was pretty big with a lot of trance music, which I will not dance to. I guess I will forever be a hip-hop type of person when it comes to dancing. Haha. And every 15 minutes came a girly dancer show. Which was crazy, but of course the nan haizi loved it ( the guys loved it). Most of the night there I pretty much tried to practice my Chinese with the person we met, her yinwen (english) name is Irene, but it was so loud in there it was almost impossible. Then I talked with some of the Princeton people, and spent part of the time just walking around trying to look for one of the guys from my program that wandered off. I didn't want to lose him because I had asked him to hold my money and my shoji ( cell phone). But I think that the club scene here is ok, it is just a bit tiring because of all the smoke and trance. The combination of the two makes it almost unbearable to be in there for a long period of time.

And as I have been saying in previous entries, Yu Laoshi's suggestions of extending a year has crossed my mind a few times. OK, don't fear I think that it will take a lot for me to get convinced to stay here for that much longer. Only if I got a really good internship or something worthwhile will I stay. But what if I do really like it here? Well, I've thought of some things, and I'll share it. I will honestly say that I do not have immediate plans after graduation. I have one quarter to go, and then I am booted out into the real world pretty much. Am I ready for that completely, ummm.yes and no? I don't know. However, I know I don't want to stay in school till my for another year's time. But 6 months is a pretty decent amount of time to get some contacts and different things in this area. I was thinking if I really like Beijing or China in general, I can go home, graduate and possibly come back to either teach for a year, or if I find something even more interesting for work. In this way, our program director from the UC will still be here, I will still have ties in Beijing. I don't know, I think a lot about these things, which I know I should just be living it up and having a good time, which I am! But decisions and plans like this cross my mind often and I think that I will talk to Yu Laoshi about it and see what she thinks. Haha she has a UC EAP program bias though. However, she is just like our academic counselors at home and she is a good person to talk to because she has a lot of insights so I'll run my thoughts by her.

Another thing is housing in the fall, I may be able to have ethernet in my dorm! If the new dorms are finished that is. Other than that I am pretty satisfied with Lanhui GongYu, our dorms like someone said, "its paradise." But I would love to live in the new dorms I might love it so much I wouldn't want to go home. Haha.

2002-07-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

So blogger has been giving me a bit of trouble now that i have returned to Beijing.
It has been a really relaxing weekend and i am actually really proud of myself because i bought a few things this weekend. I bought some tank tops., a shirt and some "smurfy" shoes. Yes i call them smurfy because that is what they are, smurfy blue. I think that converted to US dollars, i spent about $25. wooh hooh good deal huh?

But other than my little shopping excitement i havent really been doing much but figuring out where to eat, and what to do. That along with studying...i do a lot of studying too, but I think that my UCI chinese teachers gave me a lot more homework than my Beijing teachers here. I am learning a lot of new characters and phrases that i hardly use on the street, but sometimes it comes out. A lot of people ask , where we are from. And i always reply with we come from America...and then it all makes sense why we are so clueless. But i think that being here about a month we have become accostomed to things and we have become really cheap. The thing that i spend the most on has to be food, because again, i dont like the beijing food . But beijing KAO YA..."duck" is always good. i had that yesterday for lunch, yum yum.

Ordering food is always exciting and no matter where you go, its in chinese of course. Like today, i ordered macdonalds...it is always interesting ordering in chinese at macdonalds. i dont even think that i can explain the experience. Its like, a number 2 and a number 5???? hahaha....its really funny. the people get really frustrated at you also. Scott parked his bike at a "PARKING LOT" that you needed to pay and we didnt know it when we went down XinJieKou today, and i read the sign afterwards and the guy was impressed. He was like, ooh you understand...and i was like, yeha i understand but i cant speak very well. And again i had to explain where i was from...the US. Haha. But going around today, people seemed really friendly and if you give them a friendly "Ni hao" they are pretty inviting. So it was good.

Other than that i hope that this post, posts. These keyboards are so hard to use that i am going to stop typing now, owwwch!
more soon.

2002-07-18T00:34:00.000-07:00

July 16, 2002
Well, I think that for the first time today I think life seemed almost normal. We had class, we ate lunch at a really close restaurant¡Ä. And I ran some errands. I know¡Ä. What errands?

First of all I picked up my pictures which is always exciting. There is a photo-developing place on campus right near our dorm that develops for a pretty reasonable price and it only takes a day or less. So it is really nice and fast! Of course I am a picture freak and have already used a lot of my film, so I have a thick stack from this weekend at the Great Wall and Chengde. The village pictures are my personal favorite. I have this one picture that I consider a real work of art. It is a picture of a random little boy in the village sitting on the windowsill in the village school. What is special about it is his expression and that the wall right next to him hangs a big picture of Chairman Mao. I just thought it captured a lot of what I saw there. Though it is not digital and I can¡Çt really send this one to you. But I guess you will see it when I get back home.

So I went to the bank today and questioned them about my card. I had all my information this time, and basically tried with my somewhat OK Chinese to communicate what I wanted. I got my card back and realized that the ATM outside was not working. So no money yet. I only have about 50 kuai left. After the bank I proceeded on my little bike to the grocery store to buy some things. This is because I never want to eat the breakfast foods that are out on campus. TOO GREASY! But then again I had KFC ¡Èdai zou¡É to go today. Well, I had to bike all the way over there and bring food back to the dorms, so I guess I got some exercise so it is all good in the hood!. I was glad that today in everything that I did I tried my best to speak more Chinese and less English. Again, it is really hard when all your friends are English speakers. Now I can understand why foreign students at home really stick together. They share a common language and therefore just tend to stick together like glue. I feel this way here a lot, and I don¡Çt know when the little party will end. But the older students say that summer is a really big party, after the summer, things become a little different. Yu Laoshi is really trying to convince me to stay a year, and mentioned it to me again today. The thought crosses my mind sometimes, I cringe at it a bit because I know I want to go back and graduate. But who knows, maybe if I go back home and graduate, I can come back here. So far, everyone who has been online or sent me email ask me this question¡Ä¡É So how do you like it over there?¡É

HUIDA(ANSWER): I am really having a good time here, no real complaints with the exception of food. I really want some mexican food. Albertos sounds really good right now. Taco Tuesday also sounds really good too Other than that I think that I really enjoy it, though everyday I am saying, ¡È dui bu qi, wo bu zhidao, wo ting bu dong¡É ( Sorry, I don¡Çt know, I don¡Çt understand). You can¡Çt be as expressive in another country with very limited vocabulary. But I think that the greatest feeling is riding around Beijing on a Bike. You go in and out of traffic dodging taxis and buses and whatnot, it is sometimes scary, but really an experience. I think that when my mom comes here in the Fall, I will have to let her and Uncle Ted experience the real Beijing experience and ride around a bit of Beijing on a bike. Mom tell me what you think about that, I am sure Uncle Ted will enjoy it. I think that when Daddy comes again , I will have to make him do this too. It is something that you have to do ! It is so awesome! I also know where to get CocaCola Lite¡Ä.in the grocery stores ( found that out today)¡Äso when you come Mom I will know where to get all the necessities.

Studied a lot today. This week is going to be Focus week¡ÄI hope that I remember the vocabulary in the morning. As my Grandma would say, ¡È Jintian Xue, Mingtian Wang¡É ( today I learn, tomorrow I forget)
I need to still get a little notebook to write down everything I learn on the spot. Sheesh¡Ä.so much to learn, so hard to remember.

2002-07-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

So did I mention that the other day, the ATM machine ate my card? Anyway, we are back in Beijing now after a really long bus ride. I guess Beijing and Lan Hui Gong Yu is what we call home now. It is good to be home. So about the ATM basically ate my card the other night before the trip to all the crazy places this weekend. So I went over to the bank today when I got back with somebody that speaks Chinese a bit better than I do. The line was pretty long and she wanted to go to the store, so I told her to just go to the store and be back in a little bit to help me translate my little problem. Sure enough, she wasnt back in time so I had to try to communicate my problem. And I was so proud of myself?Yey! It worked! I tried to say what I wanted to say and it came out and they understood me. I think that a lot of the times, with the EAP people, we depend on more fluent Chinese speakers to speak for us. Since I was forced to communicate, I was trying to think of what I was going to say before I said it. It made me a bit nervous, it was the feeling that I get every time I have a Chinese speaking test, but this is real life at the bank. But I kept on hearing them use a certain word to explain, ?the machine ate my card.?And I looked it up when I got home. Maybe I will ask my teacher tomorrow about it in class. But the thing is, the class is always conducted in Chinese so when you ask a question you have to ask it in Chinese! This kind of forced communication is really how I learn the most. Being with the EAP people all weekend, I think that I used minimal Chinese. My Chinese is best when put in a situation where I need something, and have to explain what I need. Food, (?l have what they are having?Wo yao na ge which isnt always a good thing.) Shelter, ?Take me to Bei Shi Da! The South Gate is fine?Wo yao qu Bei Shi Da, Nan Menr keyi ma?? , Water ( an I have one bottle of water?Wo yao, yi ping shui?, and Money which I figured out a bit today.

But yes it was an interesting crazy weekend. I think that I am trying things out that I have never done before, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. I tried to study/review today. That hui hua?class (speaking class) is really difficult and I think that I need to really study for it. But other than that, I think that I wrote enough here about the weekend. It was exhausting. And I think that I will take this week to really take a break from the big group and try to do my own thing.

This weekend I really got to talk to Yu Laoshi, our Center Director here in China. She is kind of like a mom to all of us, treating every single one of us as her own. She was my bus buddy because I always like to sit in the front of the bus because I get car sick sometimes. But I had a really good conversation with her and kind of gave her a little bit of what I thought about how the program was going. She is strongly suggesting that I consider extending for the year. I know that this is a possibility for me, but I donÃÕ know if I am ready to do that yet. I think that I really just want to finish what I need to finish at UCI. But of course i'll keep you posted on the decisions I make here, no worries!

I seriously think that my grammar is getting really horrible. English grammar that is. I think that Chinese language is interesting because there is not that many adjectives in it. Everything that you say is straight and to the point and doesn go off with endless ways of expressing one concept or idea. So sometimes it is frustrating because I feel that I lose some of that so called expressiveness! And I think that is why I have to write like this everyday to keep it up. I know that the Old EAP people say that after a year time, their English is not so good and their Chinese is greatly improved but still not that great. So I thought that was kind of amusing. Hehe. I think that I am getting really good at the english?that I use with a lot of the EAPers.

But yes, Lan Hui Gong Yu has become home. After traveling to distant villages that are not even on the map, going to pee in dug up holes in the ground, and drinking piijiu?for every meal of the day. I am happy to come home to my laptop, air conditioner, Chinese/English dictionary and of course, KeKou Kele?( Coca-cola) refrigerated. I say this because Chinese people hardly ever serve soda cold. I think that they are strong believers in warm drinks. I dont know why that is?but they also say not to have the ice here because the water is not that great. Its nice to have a refrigerator in your room. I think I will stay in Lan Hui Gong Yu in the fall. ?Hen fangbian!?(it is very convenient).

So I want to say a special thanks to Krissy, she was the first one to use the labels that ML made. So when I got home, my mail was put right by my bed. It was so nice to get! Made my day! Thank you Krissy! You are so creative! I know I havent written up any postcards. But I will over the next month hopefully. I didnt realize how many addresses I collected throughout that last week that I was home. But I am glad that the labels that we made worked! And I think that it got here in about a little over a week but who knows because I was gone for a few days.

Barbie sent me an email telling me how she can believe how much I write in my blog. Well, considering this is the only thing that I will be doing in English for a long period of time, the entries are going to be long. And I write them before hand also in my dorm and then bring them on disk to the cafe? So this is why it is hurting your eyes. I know that it is much to read but hopefully I put some interesting things on here. If anything you want me to explain in further detail just email me.

But anyway, back from Chengde safe and sound. Back to school tomorrow.

2002-07-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

I didnt think that i would find an internet cafe on this trip, but i guess i have. yey! I am in a city called Chengde right now, and have spent the craziest few days on our little EAP field trip. I dont think that words can even describe the beauty and real life images of china that we have experienced in the past few days.

The first day we went to "ChangCheng" ( THE GREAT WALL) yes we climbed that sucker. Of course, me being me, i didnt want to walk the whole hike that would be 3-4 hours of great wall climbing. In fact, the group of people i was with wanted to go further and then just come back, so i decided to stay in one tower by myself on the wall for awhile and wait for them to come back. The Tianqi ( weather) was feichang Re..(very hot) as i keep saying, all the time. So yes i stayed in one tower by myself for about 45 minutes. It was to the point where i couldnt see them climbing anymore, and i couldnt hear anyone, and the wall just looked deserted. All i could hear was the crazy buzzing of the many bugs that live on the wall. Got a phone call from Daddy though on the cell phone, so that was nice. I got to talk to him and Nai Nai. After awhile i was getting restless and wondering if my friends were coming back. I was going to give them about 20 more minutes and then walk back to our hotel. It was so quiet i started singing and practicing some of the WuShu moves that we have been learning in WuShu class. They finally did come, and we actually found a cable car that took us down for 20 kuai. WOOH HOOH! Then we came back to our hotel rooms and i just watched Chinese Cartoons! YAY!

Nightime came and it was time for ChangCheng Camping. The other day i rode my bike over to the camping shop and rented a tent and sleeping bag to use on the wall. I also bought a bongo drum just so i could play up there, so i brought that with me. We found a really good place that night in one tower that had an open celling so we could see the stars so clearly. Some of the people brought candles so we lit them all around the tower and just chatted. I jammed a bit with this one person from Michigan that is also on our program. An awesome drummer! I also brought my little disc man and just laid down and looked up at the sky. It was really beautiful and i dont know how to really describe it....just awesome. I listened to "Come What May" a few times, i think that was the perfect song for the night. I sang it out loud too....haha...while the other people were playing cards. hehe. We also told some scary stories before we went to bed...haha...but the wall wasnt scary at all. And i didnt even get one bug bite.

In the morning we woke up at 5:30 am to see the Sunrise....wow.=)
i guess that is all i have to say about that.

The following day, we traveled to a village, one that is not on the map. I cant even remember the name of the village now. I think that i have to ask and write it down. So each of us were pretty much assigned to one host family. I ended up being in a group of three girls and we got to see how village life was. They took us to their home, they had two big pigs, some chickens and some ducks. Which would probably be dinner in a few months. yum yum....hehe. They fed us A LOT OF FOOD....and the food was a bit salty. And another thing about Chinese culture is they always drink.."pijiu" beer , for special occasions, or guests. So guess what we had with our lunch and dinner? Yes Pijiu....so we had a bunch of EAP people a bit drunk after lunch...i was not, but of course, some people were really being polite..and had beer after beer. They kept filling the glass!~The trick is, not to finish it, and then they wont fill your glass.

After lunch a bunch of kids took us to their "xuexiao" school. This meant walking through a whole cornfield to get to school. Of course it the middle of the cornfield was a path that the little kids took. They took us by the hand and called us " JieJie" ( big sister), they were quite talkative and wanted to show us everything. We ended up going with them to the school and then to a little forest in the back....it was amazing just to see. They kept on wanting to "qu wanr" ( go play) and we ended up walking up this hill to a water tower that overlooks the whole village. It was one of the most beautiful things that i have ever seen. It was so green and, i dont know....i wish i could capture it in words but i cant. At first i was lazy to go up there, but i am glad that i did. I cant wait to develop the pictures tomorrow when we get home to Beijing.

But another thing about the village was the toilet or lack of. When we go out we hardly see western toilets and in the village, the supposed toilet was right beside the pigs. It was basically a hole in the dirt with a board across it to step on to keep your balance while you squat there and do your business. Yes, i experienced once...but my body did not allow me to do it again. Well, i think that what we have realized on this trip is that a bit of dirt doesnt hurt.....that much. We didnt really touch any water or changed clothes while in the village. We slept in our clothes and woke up the next day in our dirty clothes.But like somebody says, over 70% of Chinese people live like these villagers...and we experienced their life for a day.. I've never been so dirty in my life. Especially after the dirt roads we spent time in. We got to shower the next morning in Chengde where i am at right now. And i think that ive showered many times since. =)

Now in Chengde i am in the middle of a night market. It is pretty much just full of crazy alleys full of vendors trying to sell whatever it is that they sell. You can do a lot of bargaining...but a lot of the things are not super great in quality...and you find a lot of fake name brands which can sometimes be really amusing. I just passed by a place that sold bags that had the " CK" logo on it, but on the bottom, instead of Calvin Klein it had, "Christian Dior" , i thought that was hilarious. hehehe. I just thought that was classic.

The hotel is nice , it has a piano downstairs and i've had fun with that. I've been trying to figure out a song that is by a really popular pop singer in China and i think that ive got it! No, i dont listen to Chinese music only now guys. It is just one song that my buddies on my floor listen to and it always gets stuck in my head. We go home to Beijing Tomorrow and i think most of us can't wait! But after this trip i am looking forward to the other summer trip to Mongolia! i think that its going to be even more exciting....

Camping on the great wall and spending the night in a village will be something ill never forget.

2002-07-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

Alright, i wrote this a few days ago and then i'll add some later. I wont be able to write for a few days because we are camping out at the great wall. yes, camping out at the great wall. haha.

Ok, this is from a few days ago...

Feeling a bit sick today. It is a sore throat and just feeling a bit fatigued. I am listening to my recital cd right now. I am missing playing a bit, never thought I would say that after all the recital preparation. I have been here one week and I was craving nachos this morning. Is there anywhere I can get some nachos? Nachos zai nar? ( where is the nachos?) I know I cant get them here but it cant hurt to wish for some.

As usual, the tianqi is hot. I didnt even want to go out to get food. The classes went pretty well today though I am really not feeling good. Today is supposedly the first class of wushu. But it is so hot! I dont know how it will go. I think that the next few days will be really tiring, we have tests on Wednesday already and then we are off to camp on the great wall. Yes, I said, camp on the great wall. Hopefully we can find sleeping bags by then. Again, the big social thing drains me. Sometimes I am already set on how I want things to be and of course…I get comfortable. Unfortunately, I never get to stay in that comfort zone. Especially not here. Current mood: ugh…tired.

I guess you are going to have those good and bad days. Maybe on the good days your chinese is really good, or not. I dont think that I have been really good with buying things because I dont like buying things. But I think that it has been a really good way that people have learned more Chinese. I think that I havent been adventurous enough yet. I want to be comfortable with everything but today I just want to stay indoors. I am not used to so many people around all the time, 24 hours a day. And yes I think that I will be home sick. And especially when you are not feeling well. Yeah I just feel drained. I got some gatorade downstairs and took some vitamins and Tylenol I think that I will be fine. We also have meetings and things tonight and I think that I was supposed to meet someone tomorrow.

I dont know what it is. I think that when you go to a new place you are so desperately trying to establish some sort of identity for yourself. And I think that the only way to really do this is through others at time. Its like, “here, this is me And I dont know, once I am able to open up to certain people, I tend to depend on them a bit as a friend, as someone to rely on. Sometimes I dont like to do this because inside I feel like a burden. So it causes me to kind of lock up inside, to therefore not to be bothersome. And I dont know where this kind of feeling comes from. So I dont know, being in this Lan Hui Gong Yu dorm, it is all the UC students all together, so it feels like home still. I havent really felt the shock of culture hitting me hard yet.

I am listening to our Brahms 3rd movement. I think that it was the best movement on the entire program that day. At least when I miss home I can listen to it. I have been still trying to search for a place where they have live music. I couldnt find it on “San Li tuanr jiu ba jie but I want to still go. I am going to try to upload some pictures for you guys to see and I think that I found a way to do so that is quicker.

Took a bike ride to the nearest Macdonalds and took someone from the Princeton program. The Princeton program is really ridiculous. I have this theory that is seriously a social/psychology experiment by Princeton because princeton has all these restrictions on their program. First of all, they are segregated into levels. The grade levels are not allowed to talk to lower level Chinese speakers. And the upper levels are only allowed to speak Chinese. They all signed a contract that they will not speak english for the duration of the time that they are in Beijing. And they are studying in their room constantly. Some people are going nutsy over there but giving in to the restrictions of the program. I think that the whole thing is just fishy and not really for the students benefit. We live in a really good dorm and we have no real complaints about it except that the washer goes a little crazy. But in comparison to the dorms that our Princeton pals live in…wow. I guess there is no comparison because ours is definitely the best on campus. They call theirs.
“ Di Er Gong Yu, GHETTO DORM! They even have the squatter toilets shared and we have our own bathrooms with western toilets. We are super lucky. I love EAP!

2002-07-07T06:01:00.000-07:00

Today, i went to wanfujin...it is a street right next to tianamen square that has many shops and different things that you can see. the tianqi was hot as usual, and i guess the guys here have told me that i am seriously not a real girl because i dont like to shop! i guess i really am not the typical girl.

But nothing really too exciting happening today, except that i rode my bike here to the internet cafe. Having the bike is so nice...the walking just gets to you after awhile. I tried to upload a picture, but it is really slow. Hopefully i can put it somewhere easier to upload because i really want you guys to see what some of the things look like over here and all its crazy happenings.

Last night we went to "sanlituer" which is Beijing's Bar street. We were at one of the bars and ended up dancing on the stage. I guess American's really have no shame, especially us. We get a lot of stares and stuff but i guess it really didnt matter to us. I've noticed that I can only really have fun when there is music. Without music, where would the fun be? But the socializing is a little much. I stayed home most of the weekend though just to rest from school and all the activities. Like they always remind us, it is the EDUCATION abroad program. But i have learned so much on the street already, getting around especially. Last night i met someone from someone from another program, also on a chinese language program. Theirs is more restrictive then ours, they are not allowed to speak any english at all to each other. They signed a contract. I think that is really crazy and restrictive. But this guy's family spoke my mom's dialect, and that is always amazing because you dont find that because it is something that is not very common. What a small world.

But today i am really tired. I just wanted to check my emails. I will probably go home and do some more studying. The only thing i ended up buying was a "cidian" a dictionary. What a nerd. I will write more soon.

2002-07-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

Today, everyone is going to the SILK ALLEY, it is a place that I really disliked going last time. Why? Because I am not a big shopper fan. I know that it is all part of the China experience, but this time being my ¡°di er ci¡± ( second time here) everything that everyone is super excited about seems like just something I¡¯ve already done. Besides, going in a big group of 101 always drains me. Being in the dorm is just like being in the dorms at home. Considering I¡¯ve never done that, it is hard to go backwards as a 5th year to dorm life and the excitement and energy is really not there about the socialization that occurs. But though I have only been here a week, it is like I understand a little more and getting more comfortable with ways of getting around .

One of the old students Jim informed us just last week about the differences between taxis. There are certain taxis that have a more expensive rate than others. But the way that you can tell the difference between these taxis are by where their antenna¡¯s are positioned. If the antenna is in the middle of the car, it is a 1.6 car, and that is ¡°tai guile!¡±( too expensive!) But the ones that are off to the side are what you want. So we stand out there looking for the taxis that have the antenna on the side. Now, even though there are a lot of foreigners that come to Beijing now, these guys do not speak one word of english. You need to be able to at least say where you are going in Chinese and where you want to be dropped off. The taxis hate making U-turns and all the streets are one way streets. When going back to Beishida( our school) they always like to drop us off at the south gate, ¡°nan menr¡± which is not that far from our place. Having to go by taxi to visit my dad on Wanfujin street the other day, I think that I have become more comfortable with telling the taxi, This is where I want to go! A lot of my friends have made me sit in the front seat since. Front seat means, you are the designated navigator.

Last night we went to a July 4th celebration. Yes, they have them here. It was sponsored by the Beijing American Club. It was pretty far and we took a taxi to a tram that took us over there. It was at a water park and we basically paid for the ticket that was pretty expensive in terms of China RMB, about $10 for us at home. But with that we got a lot of free food, including a big mac and fries from MacDonalds! I guess they really wanted to give us a taste of home. But overall it was good , and I got to talk to one of the old student¡¯s girlfriend who has been living in Beijing for about 6 months. She gave me her contact information so I could probably get a little side money living here for awhile possibly teaching English. So I am looking forward to this if I can do this. I know, I am making myself busy again. I bet someone will come here and visit me and I will be busy like I am at home. I promise I wont be too crazy ok!

But yes, everyone went shopping and here I am. There were only a few people that stayed. So far I think that I have been close to only a few individuals. I think that I like to hang around a few people as opposed to our 101. And already I can see who will become some of those lifetime friends. I just called my brother in Shanghai, my dad, brother and grandmother are in Shanghai. It is my brother¡¯s birthday today! I cant believe my little brother is 18! *TEAR! That is my little brother! All grown up. And I think that yesterday calling up my dad and telling him about my bike in Chinese was really great for him because he actually heard me speak Chinese and he loved it. He never sounded so pleased with me in his life! Haha. I think that I told him what I bought and how much it cost. And I included ¡° Its so cheap huh?!¡± in Chinese. And he was laughing. I think that learning the Chinese language has really and will really make my dad¡¯s side proud and my mom¡¯s side too. They can¡¯t wait till I come home and I am able to order food! Again, that is one of my goals here.

One thing that really freaks me out over here is that our ¡°fuwuyuan¡±, kinda like the person who fixes up the room or the people at our reception desk here, knows all of our names and who we are. I was walking in the halls here and the fuwuyuan says , ¡° Ni shi He Jia Ping ma?¡± And I was like, ¡° dui.¡± All puzzled. For those of you who didn¡¯t get that. He basically said, you are Hejiaping right? And I said, ¡°right.¡± And I have no clue as to how he knows who I am. I was discussing it with the boys in 612 and we have come to the conclusion that these people either have some tracking device on us, or just like to memorize names and faces for fun because there is nothing else to do. They know where you are at all times, it is kind of scary the control that they have in this country. It is amazing.

Back to transportation and getting around. Most people here either ride the bus, or ride their bikes. Riding my bike is the greatest experience I¡¯ve ever had yet so far this week. It is kind of a free feeling. And I think that it is a lot more social than how we deal with our cars and things at home. You get to see more things, almost crash into things, and also you can talk to your friends while you are riding. W e took a whole clan to ¡°kongtaji¡± a few days ago. Oh, that is Kentucky Fried Chicken by the way, ¡°kongtagi¡±! And our teacher in school taught us some things like, ¡°xingbake¡± (starbucks). Haha. The teachers here are really helpful. I guess I havent talked about the class experience.

I started out the week in the very first class. 101. I would have to say that the class was a bit slow for me. So I moved up, and now my writing class is in a bit higher and my speaking class is in the intermediate level. So I think that I am challenged enough in terms of where I am at. The classes are conducted in Chinese. The teachers do not really speak English. And if they do it is very limited. So just by going to class you learn a lot. And classes go from 8-11:35. I already had to write an essay last week! Wooh! Haha. Well, that is it for now. I know it is a lot. I will write more soon!

2002-07-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Its been a week here. Happy 4th of July! I could really go for some hamburgers or something right now. haha. The food is really...how can i describe this? Chinese? And considering i dont really like chinese food, i think that i have already lost some weight. That and i've been walking around so much and its been humid so i've sweated like crazy! This week started off really fun though but has gone by so quick. We started our classes and i think that i got placed in a class that i wasnt supposed to be in. So tomorrow i am going to move up to a higher class because i think that i understand more than the people in the lower level classes. I tried moving up today and it was a good thing for me, kept me on my toes.

I've been spending time with a few people now. The big group thing gets a bit tiring. I notice that i get along better with the guys because the girls always want to go out and "mai mai dongxi" ( buy things) and i hate doing that. But i do want things that are useful. Today we are buying bikes, we bargained down to 125 kuai for a bike, which is about $15 at home. Can you believe that? hahaha. I couldnt. I know that new ones usually get stolen here, but that is $15 at home! So yes, things are pretty cheap here but being here a week, a lot of people have already gotten used to the bargaining culture that goes on here. Since i havent bought that much stuff, I havent really experienced it full on. But the thing is , everyone does it, so its something you need to learn to do.

Today, I ordered from this place called "Tube Station" and it is a place that pretty much caters to Westerners...they even play american music there. Its a bit like Subway, they have sandwiches and stuff. it is close to home but not quite. I ordered the beef curry today and they bring it to your dorm room. And there is NO TIPPING IN CHINA! so it is the same as walking over to the place. This place is across the street of Beijing Shi fen Da Xue de Dong Men ( Beijing Normal's West Gate), maybe about a ten minute walk. So its great that they come to you with no extra cost! Its so hot here that i just want to stay inside in our air conditioned dorms! Besides, i have to write a big essay tonight for class already! YIPES!

I wanted to get you guys pictures for you to see. My laptop is going nutsy! As MaryLou would say, "Operator Trouble" i think. Hopefully i can get someone to fix it or maybe it will magically fix itself! But overall i am having a good experience already and getting the hang of things and becoming less shy to speak, which was my main goal to come here. One of my teachers asked me if she could hook me up with a chinese native that wants to learn english and kind of do an exchange with her. So i think that i will make some chinese friends too! yay! But yeah, there is a lot of us on EAP here and we can spot each other out from ways away! We look really different from the locals. hehe. But anyway, this is all for now, i hope that all is well ! MISS YOU!!!!!

2002-06-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

So its been a few days here and you make friends quick .I think that we are all in the same boat, so we just get along really well. But i think that the highlight of the whole thing so far is just the people. I have had so many great conversations already, and it makes me think...hey, maybe there is a reason why i am here.

Last night we had a roast duck dinner with all the students plus the old students. Everyone was drinking, eating and being social. I participated of course, it is a part of culture! The old students who have been here a year introduced everyone to "Bai Jiu" which is basically like Chinese Vodka....Barbie i think that you would get a kick out of this stuff. haha. But anyway, a lot of the people got pretty crazy. I on the other hand was starting to get a bit analytical. Earlier, the old students were talking about their experiences, and i guess i just started to think about what a process i am going to go through doing this. The feelings and the realization that i was actually here hit me right about after dinner when all the UC students went nuts. After dinner the older students threw a party at their apartment. It was really really nice! And of course when i hear music i have to dance, and i think that i started it up. I remember saying to one of the older students looking at how much fun we were having and saying, "this doesnt last does it." and he says..."nope it doesnt." And i think that the people here are really different according to how long they chose to stay.

Today was interesting, i just came back from a taxi ride. I rode with some of the girls on my floor. I had to meet up with my family before they leave for Shanghai for tomorrow and Daddy gave me the 411 on everything about my cell phone. And now i feel like an idiot because i forgot some things in the hotel room . CRAP! I can hear my dad yelling now. I guess i'll call him when i get back to the dorm. My thoughts are a bit all over the place now, it is bout 11:19 in the nightime. Had a tiring day, but also one that already taught me a lot about people and culture, and how to say a few things. But like my grandma says, "Jintian Xue Mingtian Wang" Today i learn, tomorrow i forget.
Tomorrow we are taking a placement exam, and then all the education begins....

2002-06-28T05:09:00.000-07:00

So, i wrote earlier today but i find myself here again. I started the day here at the school's internet cafe with the same computer. This computer totally sucks but it is really full in here and i guess this is all that i am left with. After the cafe i hung out with these guys that live right across from me, they call themselves A and B. dont ask me why. These two are Cantonese speakers, and though they know a lot of the language it was just interesting to see them trying to communicate to try to order things for us to eat. And i have discovered already that even though i have been learning chinese for a year, i have no idea about food. And the last few days we just had people order for us. But groups were smaller today. Which was a good thing. The Baozi this morning kind of gave me a stomach ache. ( baozi are these little buns with meat inside) Afterwards just spent some time at the dorm resting from all the walking. The A and B boys took me to the Yinghang ( bank) and we attempted to open accounts for the 6 months that we are going to be here . We concluded that we are rich liuxuesheng (foreign students). Everything is so cheap here, except for things that are name brand and imported.
Anyway, at the Yinhang...the A and B boys were helping me speak to the Teller. Basically i brought my US dollars to be put into the China bank later converting into chinese reminbi. They inspected the money so carefully, there couldnt be one tear, not anything.
we made a few mistakes filling out the forms. Have to remember all the characters! After that we just had a meeting with all the eap students, all 101 of us.

Since i spent so much time with the A and B boys i decided to just go with some random people to shop for groceries and basic stuff. We went to one that a lot of the more lower class locals go. So the place was loud and full of people yelling. And the people i went with are native speakers and bargained and spoke to me mostly in chinese which forced me to kind of answer back what i knew. I say it was a good experience hanging out with people who just constantly spoke.

Lastly was dinner, which i just came back from. Went with someone really interesting who basically argued his way into the program, but has not had any chinese experience at all. i didnt know how to order food and he didnt either. we ended up with someting with a lot of bones in it. i think that i concluded it was chicken feet. which wasnt too great and something else. we felt stupid but stupid enough to laugh at ourselves and to know that we need to study food. There is only so much you can study in a classroom but food...i guess you are on your own. MY GOAL: To be able to order food and eat something! hopefully by next week. Wish me luck.

2002-06-27T17:46:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a few days...but a really interesting few days. We have attempted a few things...going out to eat has got to be the ultimate experience. People look at you funny and you send the best chinese speaker forward to order. Every meal we've had i couldnt finish. I am still so edgy and hungry right now though that i cant even think about what i have been doing. Maybe nextime i will put it on disk and then just copy and paste because i am so out of it right now. But we finally got to the internet cafe. Beijing had closed down the internet cafe's for a few days due to some crime that occured in one that killed 24 people. So we are all over here right now before we venture off to get some more baozi and jaozi. I swear, i dont know how i am going to survive here with the food. Chinese food everyday? AI YA! Thanks to Kristina for getting me that super nice Red Robin meal the other day.... a guacamole burger sounds pretty good right now even though it is 8:40 in th morning. But yeah ill come back a toothpick and then gain all this weight eating red robin when i get back. Oh i am so hungry right now. WO DUZI E LE!
As for meeting people, its funny how in some situations you get get so comfortable with people like you have known them for years. And with these EAP people, they are the most outgoing people I've met, and dorm life is kinda fun...considering i've never experienced it before. But the crazy part of it is, when people ask my year and i say, 5...i feel so old. I cant believe i am a 5th year!!!!! OMG! Lao le! ( oldy!) be back for more stories.

2002-05-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

are we there yet?one month till i am there.